Ohhhh Crap...

Posted Tuesday, April 13, 2010, at 10:15 PM

So last Tuesday I came home to a garage full of water. Sewer water. Yeah. So being the stressed out wreck that I was, I didn't weigh in last week. Instead, I spent that time making a few phone calls.

I called the "La Familia" of local plumbers and all I can say is what a racket. I can't see how anyone can afford them. The rest of the county must make a lot more money than I do.

Next, I called Linton's local plumbers with the name that makes me chuckle like a pre-pubescent kid. Anyhow, they were busy with their pipe snake. It was stuck in a pipe a few blocks away.

I was running out of options. So I called the local community pillar that does this kind of stuff on the side. Thing is, they don't work after five. How convenient, with the mess leaking throughout my garage.

Well, we finally gave up and had the city come out and check their pipes. Lo and behold, the pipes drained. Thank you city. Since I have you on the line, can I bill you for my rug and book collection?

Then came clean-up time. A gallon of bleach, a large can of comet, some 20 Mule Team Borax, mopping, scrubbing, and I believe the garage is clean.

With the poo explosion and all the cleaning, I just couldn't make myself follow my diet. I ate pizza, ice cream and pasta without abandon. Somehow miraculously I lost weight.

Three pounds.

I know, I can't believe it either. I wish I had a clue what I done so that I could bottle it and sell it.

I now weigh 294.4 pounds. I have lost 29.0 pounds and now my BMI is below 40. How did you do?

Comments
Showing most recent comments first
[Show in chronological order instead]

Oooooppppssss! Forgot to compliment you on the weight loss! Good for you. I might even get inspired.

-- Posted by gardengal#1 on Mon, Jun 21, 2010, at 11:39 PM

Fourth line from bottom:

not "what I done"; instead, "what I did"...

That is a real pet peeve of mine!

:-)

-- Posted by gardengal#1 on Mon, Jun 21, 2010, at 11:38 PM

It's been over a month and I'm curious - how much weight have you lost since you wrote this article ??

And congratulations Matt - I salute you...

-- Posted by willow on Sat, May 29, 2010, at 9:47 AM

To me it makes no differecne how it came off--it came off! Thats all that matters. It is so hard to lose weight that any loss at all is an accomplishment! Good goin Matt!

-- Posted by Scorpio1969 on Tue, Apr 20, 2010, at 3:53 PM

Matt, Good for you. Maybe it was all the extra "muscle work" you put into cleaning the garage. Extra activity is always a good thing, just not this way!

-- Posted by promom on Mon, Apr 19, 2010, at 3:39 PM

It may have just been stress that caused you to lose weight, Matt. A few years ago when my house flooded, I lost about 20 pounds in the process of cleaning up the mess because I was so worried for weeks about how to get it all done and afford it. Congratulations on the weight lose!! Please don't bottle stress and take it regularly though, it can affect you just as badly if you get too much.

-- Posted by Polar Bear on Fri, Apr 16, 2010, at 11:39 PM

I have no idea. They didn't say what it was. They didn't even admit fault. Not that I am surprised. Anyway it works now and that is all that matters.

-- Posted by Matt Mason on Wed, Apr 14, 2010, at 8:44 AM

Okay, I'm curious... what did they find in the drain that stopped it up so badly? A wash cloth, tree roots, Scuba Steve?

-- Posted by The Raven on Wed, Apr 14, 2010, at 8:19 AM