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Thursday, Aug. 25, 2016

Everything is OK until I'm told 'some restrictions apply'

Posted Friday, January 2, 2009, at 1:14 PM

2009. An end and a beginning. How profound is that? I heard an old country sayin' recently and I was instantly seized with the hankerin' to list all of the down home sayin's I could think of and share them with you.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" means what you have and can count on is worth more than wishes and wants. Be content with what you have. "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is further support to be content. Things look better over there but after climbing the fence you find that it is the same and all you accomplished was to rip a hole in the seat of your britches.

It seems that as I stride along the path of senescence into the swamp of senectitude, I have more problems with insurance. The companies and I don't agree on what and how much they will pay. BW's dad always said, "What the large print giveth the small print taketh away." And, what the guy says really fast at the end of a TV commercial means I will not get the deal just promised. When a commercial includes the phrase "some restrictions apply" I forget about it because I know "I ain't gonna get it."

"That young buck isn't even dry behind the ears" who does he think he is trying to tell me how to raise my kids. When a calf is born it is wet all over as are humans. The mother cow quickly licks the calf to facilitate the drying. One of the last places to dry is behind the large ears the calf has. So this tenet means a person is too young to have much credibility.

I think they are going to be at it "'til the cows come home." This means a long time. On the farm the dairy cows were milked twice a day and they became accustomed to that routine. Therefore, they would return to the barn in the evening to be fed and milked to relieve the pressure from their sagging udders. I don't know this from first hand experience but I learned that mothers with nursing babies have the same need.

One of my favorite axioms is, "I will only give it a lick and a promise." That means that I will do the minimum to get the job done and promise to do it better the next time. I feel this way about many things and only do them half-heartedly to get them done and therefore I run afoul of one of the rules of Ben Franklin who espoused the Puritan adage that "anything worth doing is worth doing well." Sorry Benny, I disagree with you.

One of Dad's favorite sayins' was "Charge it to the dust and let the rain settle it." He meant he wasn't going to pay for something he felt was unjust or improperly charged against him.

Times flies. "Time flies like a speeding arrow, fruit flies like a banana." A little cerebral humor there.

(More to come. I have generated enough ideas for another column.)

Larry grew up north of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School. He lives in Plainfield and can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or (317) 839-7656. Write him at 6860 Sunrise Drive, Plainfield, Ind., 46168. He has written five books.

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