Columnist has so many questions, not enough answers

Today I am serving leftovers because I have been unable to develop them into columns. I am cleaning out the refrigerator of my mind to make room for more ideas

It seems that the influence of Christianity, the church, is waning in America and therefore the core values that have been the bulwarks of human interaction since the beginning are being cast aside. That reality is creating a vacuum that will not remain empty. One large animal pushing into that space is sports at all levels. "Religionsport," a word coined by Robin Gunston, could develop further and replace conventional religion. He said that it will have its shrines (stadiums), costumes (uniforms), services (games and events), rituals (chants and songs), high priests (star athletes and cheerleaders), august ones (owners), preachers (announcers), and piety (fan loyalty).

Outlandish but possible.

The Spanish Parliament declared support for the rights to life and freedom for great apes on June 28, 2006. It was the first time any national government has declared rights for any sub human. PETA members were seen dancing in the streets and in all zoos in America. They were chanting, "I told you so, I told you so. All that we are saying is give apes a chance."

The parliament rationalized that since the great ape is our closest genetic relative they should be a part of a "community of equals." Ludicrous.

Pedro Pozas, general secretary of the great apes projects Spanish Branch said, "With this Spain will make itself a world leader in protection of great apes,"

With the revelation came questions from me and many others. Who or what is next? Whales, yaks, aardvarks, or geckos. After all geckos have a TV spokesgecko.

Just recently the Switzerland Parliament passed legislation stating that plants have rights also. Bizarre.

I have been noticing a new kind of store along the interstates in several states. The signs say Adult Store and some say Adult Superstore. I wonder what are they selling? Does one go there to buy an adult? They are usually isolated from other stores or businesses. One never knows when one may need an adult. I wonder how much they cost? Are there various ages and sizes? What kind of goods or services do those adults provide? Do they ever have sales? BW won't let me stop to find out.

I watch too much college basketball and football games. Have you ever noticed how few players on a team are actually from the state where the school is located? I recently watched a basketball game between a North Carolina team and a Kentucky team and on the starting teams none were from N.C. or Ky. Amazing.

I also notice majors of those players: Pre-communication, Outdoor recreation, Communications, Housing, Undeclared (a big one) Outdoor sports, Criminal Justice, Athletic Coaching, Sports Management, Apparel, Housing, Resource Management and playground design.

English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, no apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick?

Finally, why isn't phonics spelled fawnix? I must go get a cold compress and place it on my thesaurus.

Larry graduated from Worthington High School. He lives in Plainfield and can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or (317) 839-7656. Write him at 6860 Sunrise Drive, Plainfield, Ind., 46168. He has written five books.