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Sunday, Aug. 28, 2016

My 'Liberty Bell' isn't really cracked

Posted Monday, October 10, 2011, at 1:03 PM

"You read from a different page don't you," a friend of mine said recently. "Maybe," I countered, "What page are you on?"

OK, I am a bit obtuse at times. Some people think there is a large crack in my Liberty Bell if you know what I mean. They think I am weird. Why? Because I see the humor in so many people, places and events that comprise our daily living.

Recently I was confabulating with a dear friend, who is 10 years older than me, and discussing a humorous situation. The longer the discussion ensued the greater my realization grew that he did not see the humor. "You don't think about those kind of things much do you," I queried. "Naw, hardly ever," he drawled.

Recently I entered the local KFC in Plainfield. We were going to have a large gathering at our house so it was my role as the mule skinner of the mule train to fetch the vittles. The greeting was pleasant and efficient, "Welcome to KFC, may I take your order?" "Yes, thank you. I want two buckets of chicken -- the three pack -- that has three sections with a different kind of chicken in each section. Plus, I want three quarts of slaw, three dozen biscuits and three large containers of potato salad." "Will that be for here or to go," came the programmed response. Humor boiled up within me like lava in Kilauea. I smiled and replied, "It is for here and I expect you stay open until I eat all of it."

BW's car let her down recently. She backed out of the garage and realized something was wrong and discovered a flat tire. She drove my car and left me to fix the flat. As I removed the lug nuts a neighbor asked, "Got a flat tire?" "No, it is only flat in that one spot the rest is alright. I am going to turn the wheel to a good spot and drive on." We both laughed. Me more than he.

The newspaper has had many advertisements lately for hot water heaters. As I read one, I chuckled and showed it to BW and asked, "What do you see in this ad that is perplexing yet humorous?" "What do you mean? The hot water heater?" "Yes. It is apparent that there is some word confusion here. Why would you buy a hot water heater? If the water is already hot why do you need a heater," I said laughing aloud. "You know what they mean," she sniffed. "I do but that is not what the ad says," I chortled.

We were strolling through Greenwood Mall one day and I noticed a sign in a jewelry store. Large colorful letters read, "Ears pierced while you wait." I roared with laughter. She asked, "What is so funny?" I replied, "The sign says ears pierced while you wait. I was just wondering what are the other options? I suppose you could leave your ears and pick them up later. The piercer could walk along and do the deed while you shop at Outer Mallgolia. That is funny."

OK, I admitted that I am a bit off the wall.

Larry grew up north of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State University. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or (317) 839-7656. Write him at 6860 Sunrise Drive, Plainfield, Ind., 46168. He has written five books.

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