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I prefer the words penurious and parsimonious

Posted Tuesday, March 20, 2012, at 2:01 PM

Many people perceive that I am cheap, others think I am a skinflint and others believe that I am too frugal. I prefer to think of myself as penurious or parsimonious. Look them up in your Webster's New Collegiate dictionary. But I think everything costs too much.

It has become fashionable to drink bottled water with the frosty dew drop on the side. Do you realize that the water company sends you water at about one cent per gallon? A tremendous sales job has convinced Americans that our water supplies are not healthy so they buy water in a 20 ounce bottle and pay $1.30 for it not realizing that at that rate they are paying $8.32 cents per gallon.

We have cable TV. The reception is great and we get nearly 75 channels but we watch 12 of them regularly. That is a salty cost per channel each month. I will gladly swap three shopping channels, three Spanish channels, three religious channels, Nick, HGTV, two sports stations, three C-Span channels, E, the golf channel, three food channels, ScyFy, Cartoon network, Style, Speed, MTV, BET, and three weather channels for one decent movie channel that does not play 10 minutes of ads for every five minutes of the movie.

Who decided years ago that orange juice must be served in thimbles in restaurants? And then the charge is $1.75 per thimble. There is a huge exception - McDonald's. I ordered a large O.J. one time and two workers brought it out in a keg. Too bad their menu does not allow me to eat there but I go in any way and drink. Wonderful.

Isn't it amazing what we pay for wrapping paper and greeting cards? The receiver rips off the paper after two seconds and it is gone. He glances at the card as if it were a porno magazine and his mom was looking, smiles, lays it down and never looks at it again. Use the Sunday paper and comics to wrap presents, old road maps make intriguing wrap. Sorry that is too cheap, I know.

I won't buy candy or popcorn at the movies Use the math you learned in school and discover that candy would cost 10 to 30 dollars per pound or more. Popcorn would cost $200 per pound.

Hair salon owners charge $50 to color hair when you can go to Wal-Mart buy a Loreal package for $6 and do it yourself. BW has been doing that for years. Oops.

The price of printer cartridges is unconscionable. They usually contain less than a fluid ounce for about $30 or more dollars. That is $3,840 per gallon. And you thought gasoline was high.

In my salad days I would pay a nickel for a six or ten ounce bottle of coke. Today a 20 ounce bottle of coke costs $1.25 at many convenience stores. In my youth coke cost .005 cents per ounce so today a 20 ounce bottle should cost me 10 cents. If not, why not? Maybe I am cheap.

Larry Vandeventer grew up North of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State University. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656. He has written five books. Contact him to purchase them.

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-- Posted by Equipmentguy on Wed, Mar 21, 2012, at 9:28 PM

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