My Teeth Get Longer Each Day

There are some subtle and not so subtle clues that I am getting long in the tooth; an old agrarian term concerning horses. As horses age their teeth continue to grow and give indication of their age. I have been receiving other indications that I just might be older than the posted speed limit.

Lately more people have begun calling me sir and they mean it. More people hold doors open for BW and me. We get the senior discount at the store without asking. Recently BW and I have been discussing night time driving. She is feeling unsure of whether to drive especially at night when it is raining or snowing. The glare produced by automobile headlights and street lights plus the reflection off the water on the roadway make it difficult to see clearly.

I have noticed that we and our friend have to plan social activities and other events around doctor appointments and therapy sessions. Many of my friends enjoy meeting to have organ recitals: describing which one of their organs needs treatment or is hurting today. We held a New Year's Eve party last year and no one complained about the loud music and raucous laughter because everyone there was driving on a restricted license and had to be home before dark.

I have noticed that when someone calls and cancels an event I settle back in the recliner and rejoice. I didn't want to go anyway. Tonight I have a serious job to complete -- I must put a rear end in the recliner. Mine.

We were standing near the line at the Circus. There were three long lines to get in. I suppose we looked rather forlorn and frail because a family with young children invited us to get in front of them very near the front of the line. We are slow but we are not stopped. We accepted the gracious invitation, stepped in line and expressed our gratitude. We probably looked like their great grandparents likely to faint at any moment.

This time of year is particularly taxing on my energy and good humor. I am familiar with the four levels of Santa Claus. I am not the author of this humorous anecdote as it has been floating throughout the intelligentsia for many years. I did, however, write the fifth level as a descriptor of my relationship with the Jolly Old Elf. First level "You believe in Santa Claus," second level, "You do not believe in Santa Claus," third level "You are Santa Claus," and then the fourth level, "You look like Santa Claus." I have added the fifth level, "You are just a little tired of the entire Santa Claus scenario and feel just a little jaded." In fact when the day is over I am a little relieved so I can hie myself to the hibernaculum for a private viewing of dreamland in snoozerama and Technicolor so bright I think I am actually there." In fact I think I will go there now.

Larry grew up north of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State University -- four times. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656. Write him at 6860 Sunrise Drive, Plainfield, IN 46168.

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Larry Vandeventer - Visit my website - Larryvandeventer.com - to read about my books and newspaper columns. And more. You will be glad you did and so will I when you purchase my books.