Why Does Donald Duck Go Around Half Naked?

Steve of Daily Groaner primed my pump with the first five items then I filled the bucket:

* Why is there a shortstop between second and third base and not between first and second?

* Why are sleeveless T-shirts still referred to as T-shirts?

* Why don't people smoke cigarettes with their nostrils rather than their mouths?

* Why does Winnie the Pooh wear a shirt and he doesn't wear any pants?

* Why isn't a moon roof in the shape of a "dairy air?"

* What about Donald Duck? He only wears a bolero jacket and a hat. As a follow up question or thought, Pluto doesn't wear clothes either.

* By definition a hole is nothing so how can you eat a doughnut hole? We were at the Indy Pops Symphony Friday and Jim ate several holes. I questioned him about it and he said, "I don't know, but they sure are good."

* Why are homosexuals wanting to get married and heterosexuals do not want to marry?

* Why do the bank advertisements proclaim my bank wants to treat me as a person and not a number yet the first thing I'm asked when I want service is my account number?

* Why do people in Burkina Faso, Africa, think I am so mentally deficient that I will send them financially sensitive information or a deposit or down payment or good faith money because they promise to send me $14 million dollars? After I send gifts to Gov. Pence, President Obama, Uncle Sam and his illegitimate son IRS, I don't have any to send.

* When I have a headache, a sunburn, an aching back or sore thumb, I take aspirin or its equivalent. How does the aspirin or its equivalent know where the pain is?

* Why does Superman duck when the empty gun is thrown at him after his body of steel has deflected all of the bullets?

* Free speech travels on a two-way street and it must flow unimpeded in our country. However, many groups on both sides of issues want to blast the intelligentsia with their point of view but accuse those of opposite views to be racist, misogynistic, radical, out of touch, haters.

* Officials toss a quarter to start the game of football then for the remainder of the game each team tries to get the quarter back. I would gladly give them a quarter or a dollar to end the fiasco that defines most games.

* Why does a car have a trunk when there is no trunk in sight.

* Does anyone keep gloves in the glove compartment of a car? I think it should be called the junk compartment or a place for stuff.

* Why do restaurants advertise a menu item titled chicken fried chicken? If you are frying chicken isn't it considered chicken being fried? Why not just say fried chicken?

* Nerds and other unfortunates often are given an affliction called a wedgie. Their wedgies afflict their "daily airs." In antipode, females also have wedgies that they wear on their feet? How can that be? It must refer to that strap between their toes in front as a wedgie.

Larry grew up North of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State University -- four times. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.