You may be too young to know this but.....

That is right. You may be too young to know this but Geezers are people too. They were young once and they remember those days; better than last month.

Geezers smile when they remember singing along with the Serendipity Singers and the Back Porch Majority and they remember when the only radio stations were AM and the only stations you could get were WIBC Indianapolis, WLS in Chicago, WLW in Cincinnati, WSM and the Opry out of Nashville, WWL in New Orleans and KMOX in St. Louis. They remember the Hoosier Hotshots and Captain Stubby and the Buccaneers, Red Foley and Ernest Tubb and listened to Lulabelle and Scotty on the WLS Barn Dance.

Geezers remember when women made dresses out of feed sacks and they thought that Red Skelton was hilarious. [He was] Shoot, they remember when women wore dresses -- all the time.

Geezers know that things usually come out all right but sometimes prunes are involved and they frequently appear on the grocery list. They actually order turnip greens at Cracker Barrel Restaurants and like them. I do. It only takes three minutes for Geezers to get a haircut but they are charged the same price as everyone else. The barber chuckles and calls it a finder's fee. They also remember were all the barbershops used to be and the barber's name.

When Geezers were kids, school started after Labor Day and ended in April. They remember when the teacher would call them in from noon or recess with the hand bell. Everyone knew what it meant in elementary school when you held up one or two fingers. When some Geezers were in elementary school the Statue of Liberty was just a young girl.

Geezers aren't expected to run anywhere except to the restroom in the mall. In fact they are so old they can't even run amuck. They have been to Mt. Rush No More. Geezers remember when you could buy almost everything you needed at the general store. If they didn't have it you didn't need it. If they didn't have it, they could order it and have it next week. They remember when gasoline cost 20 cents per gallon but they didn't own a car and didn't go anywhere any way. They also have forgotten how small their income was then.

Geezers know what RFD means. They know what FDR means too and TR and HST. Geezers have nothing left to learn the hard way and the things they buy now won't wear out. Geezers can eat dinner, evening meal, at 4 P.M. or at 3 P.M. or whenever they want especially if the early bird special is on today. Their conversations include such words as Zoot Suit, daddyo, cool, you're the most, duck tails, the malt shop and ginchy.

Geezers are well acquainted on the following situations. If the doctor removed a wax deposit from your left ear and you felt dehydrated. Or your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. You are really happy at being regular but being unstoppable is something else.

Confession: I extracted most of this from my book, You Might Be A Geezer. Go to my website -- Larryvandeventer.com or a bookstore and buy one.

Go to my website Larryvandeventer.com. Larry Vandeventer grew up North of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State U. -- four times. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.