Red Flags Say Run Do Not Walk To The Nearest Exit
Interviewing for a job is stressful and people don't always notice some aspects of the interview that indicate the job should be turned down if offered.
I read a column by Susan Rice about Red Flags. However, I believe I have a more pragmatic list of concerns that should cause you to run screaming from the room, fingers in your ears while singing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game."
The interviewer comes to the interview dressed like Dale Evans and riding a stick horse called Buttermilk. She asks you to join with her as she rides to save Roy Rogers from the Dale Carnegie Gang who is trying to make public speakers out of everyone.
The interviewer comes to the interview "nekkid" and invites you to play Twister with him and his cousin Earl while you talk. That might not be so awful if he looks like George Clooney or Brad Pitt. However, he looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame in a speedo. Earl is a doppelganger -- one who looks just like another person -- of a cast member of the "Walking Dead."
You are seeking a job as a fork lift operator and the interviewer reads the book, "Horton Hears a Who" and asks for you to explain and justify your sense of the psychological implications of the story for the job you are seeking. Hit the shoe leather express.
The interviewer offers to take you to lunch so the conversation can continue in a more relaxed situation. He hits the drive-through at White Castle and asks you to pay because he left his money clip at home. Hit the shoe leather express.
While you are talking, the interviewer casually begins to ransack through your purse. She takes all of your paper currency and puts it in her desk drawer, then begins to use your lipstick and other makeup.
The lunch hour arrives. He has evidently ordered early in the day; the receptionist delivers it. He sits at his desk eating a half-pound burger with limburger cheese garnished with calf liver. It is further adorned with garlic and onion sauce with habanero peppers and he washes it down with a bottle of "Hair of The Dog Beer." After each bite he belches and a cloud of odiferous emanation envelops you like the breath of a very large animal. Skedaddle .
The interviewer enters the office to discuss the job with you. She is dressed like Phylushia of Uruguay in her best circus apparel. If that wasn't enough, she is carrying a Burmese yellow python named Julius Squeezer that is 25 feet long, as large as a water jug from "Bubba's bait, taxidermist and pizza shop." It is looking at you as if it has not eaten in about three weeks. The tongue, which looks like a one-inch diameter black rope, flicks out to within a few inches of your face. Phylushia is obviously having some trouble controlling the ginormous reptilian."Don't worry," she says, "Jules has never eaten anyone; at least no one as large as you." Run, I tell you. Run.
Larry Vandeventer grew up North of Calvertville and Graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State. Contact him at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.
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