​Gadgets and gizmos galore

We receive several catalogs each year; many are from companies unfamiliar to me and don’t wish to purchase their products. I remember at home on the farm we had catalogs from Sears-Roebuck, Penny, Montgomery Ward and Spiegel. Mom would order items and they would come via the USPS. People are now doing the same thing with Amazon and think it is a new concept. Ho hum.

I hold in my hand a catalog titled Whatever Works (WW). It reminds me of the shops in Nashville, Indiana, that have everything you don’t really need but want. It is called impulse buying; I call it buyer’s remorse. You get it home and wonder, “Why in the world did I buy this thing and why doesn’t it work as they said it would.”

The WW catalog lists a pop-up tent device to protect your room while you spray paint objects in the house. The only problem is we could never find it when we needed it so we just paint outside. The last few days BW and I have painted the woodwork, the kitchen, a hallway and one bathroom/utility room. We have found that painting takes more energy than it used to. We are tired.

They offer a device to open any jar or bottle with ease. It is rubber and fits over the offending lid then by using a handle the jar is opened. The only problem with that is by the time BW would locate it I would have the jar open. I have a better opener it is called my hands. She calls me gorilla grip.

Then they offer the Gotham Steel titanium/ceramic cookware. Wow! Where did the old iron skillet go? Millions of meals have been prepared in those skillets and aluminum and glass pots and pans. Too late folks we already have the Red Copper Cookware and BW thinks it is the best thing since WD-40.

How would you like an electronic signal to tell you when the letter carrier, they don’t like the term mailman anymore, puts mail in your box? WW sells one. When the box is opened a signal sounds like a doorbell. I have a better device. It is called my gorilla gripping hands on the end of my arms that are applied to the box after I walk there. Don’t laugh. Some days that is all the exercise I get.

They offer a product to reduce wrinkles while I sleep. Sets are available for chest, face, neck and eyes. I ordered the industrial strength sleeping bag style that is the size of a hot air balloon and covers my entire body with a hole for my nose to breathe. My entire body will be as smooth and as wrinkle free as a baby’s tookas in no time. Sure you laugh but he who laughs last didn’t get the joke in the first place.

There are already too many gadgets and gizmos in our house. No thanks WW. Just send me the wrinkle remover.

Larry Vandeventer. Go to my two websites – Larryvandeventer.com and wjrambler1956.com - purchase my books. I grew up North of Calvertville and Graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State. Contact me at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.