​39 + 94 = 133 ... Aaarrgh

I read the other day about a man in India who has 39 wives and 94 children all living under the same roof. How does he do it?

The story made me wonder about their living conditions and how he gets along with all of those wives. It is a challenge to learn to live with one wife dealing with her idiosyncrasies, adjusting to her attitudes and life expectations.

Do they travel about together? How many busses does he have? Do they travel in shifts or groups? Do some have to stay at home?

Imagine having 39 mothers-in-law. At least one of the 39 has to be a clinker. Some will say: He is in a dead end job; He doesn’t help with the dishes; He doesn’t spend enough time with my grandchildren! He’s a loser!

How many times has he changed the seat covers on 94 “tookas’”? Imagine lining up at the local DQ and then paying for all those cones and blizzards. How many washing machines must they have or do they do their laundry in the highly polluted Ganges River.

How many jobs does he have to support the family? I hope he doesn’t work at minimum wage because he would have to have at least 10 jobs simultaneously. Do the wives work too?

How in this world would he remember all of the birthdays of wives and children? Impossible. I would crumple when asked this question: Which pair of shoes looks best with this dress? I don’t know how to answer to one wife. I wonder how many pairs of shoes they have. I’ll bet some of them sneak in and borrow shoes and dresses from the communal closet.

How large is the house they live in? Is it possible they live in an old Holiday Inn Motel? What must his utility bills be? How would you like to fix pizza for a brood that size? Or have Domino delivery? Wow! How many hot dogs would they eat on July 4

I wonder how much they spend on groceries. Marsh would still be in business if they shopped there. Who cooks? With each new wife it is a difficult adjustment as she learns to cook his favorite foods. That makes me wonder, do they grow their own food and what is their monthly bill to Kroger. Cooking for 133 people equals 399 meals per day, 11,970 per month and 143,640 per year. That number gives me brain freeze and I am not eating anything cold.

How does he survive the killer question of all time: Does this sari make me look fat? Imagine they are going out to a sitar concert starring Preda Sithrong and he has to answer that question 39 times.

He would never get out of the house. 39 asks, “You aren’t going to wear that are you?” then 38, 37 et.al. He has 39 advisors like Ivanka Trump and Eric Trump and Jason Kushner. That poor, poor man.