​I hate my job day

There were times when I was working at my day job(s) when I wondered if I had made the right occupational choice. Most of the time, my work was productive and positive but there were those seasons and times when it wasn’t. On the other hand there are several jobs that I would not choose if given a choice.

I would not want to be a sewer inspector. Imagine the rats, the claustrophobia, the overwhelming odors and the fear of being washed downstream by a swirling flood of shall we say excess materials.

I could not work as a policeman, jailer or corrections officer of any kind. How would you like to be a honey dipper? For you who are still learning, that is a person who brings a truck to your house and pumps the liquids and semi-solids out of your septic tank.

Every Friday morning a worthy crew comes to our house and hauls away our trash and garbage. I wouldn’t do that but I am glad they do. I have a friend who is an embalmer and funeral director. Each year and sometimes more often I go to a proctologist for an examination. But [pun intended] I couldn’t do it. Each of these roles is vital in society and it is a noble and honorable profession. I couldn’t do any of them.

How would you like to drive eleven hours a day in an 18-wheeler? Deep sea diver? Forget it. I hate to make my own bed let alone do housekeeping in a hotel. I would not want to be an animal warden and chase stray dogs and deal with those who are cruel with animals. How grotesque! Run the cash register at Kroger? No. Assembly line worker? Nyet! School bus driver or taxi driver? Nada! I don’t like to do laundry at home so working in a laundry? That’s a big no can do! How about working in a day care with 20 little active kiddos with dripping noses? Negatory.

At the antipode - opposite -there are many people employed in those necessary jobs and they are important for society and the welfare of all. I applaud their work and commitment.

When you have an “I Hate My Job Day,” I recommend you try this antidote. Stop at your pharmacy on your way home from work and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect from media so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair and remove the thermometer.

Now the fun part begins. Read the literature carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, “Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested.” Now, close your eyes and similarly to Dorothy in Oz, repeat out loud three times, “I am so glad I do not work in the testing lab for Johnson and Johnson.”

Have a nice day and remember there is always someone else with a job that is worse than yours! Maybe! Probably! Oh come on, your job isn’t that bad!

Larry Vandeventer. Go to my two websites – Larryvandeventer.com and wjrambler1956.com – and purchase my books. I grew up North of Calvertville and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State. Contact me at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.