Two days after Christmas we were invaded. There was nothing we could do but let it happen.
It was easier for people in the Dust Bowl Days of the 1930s to cope with the grasshopper invasions than this one. BW struggled out to the mailbox, opened it and the invaders piled out like 21 beach boys tumbling out of a woodie on the beach at Santa Monica in 1963. She hollered for me to bring the wheelbarrow.
What were the invaders? Catalogs of every kindred, tribe and tongue. It was a last ditch effort by desperate companies trying to sell those things that did not go out the door on Black Friday, Green Monday, Cyber Tuesday and Cajun Crawdad Thursday.
One catalog advertised the angry mama microwave cleaner. It looks like a mock-up of an angry Lucy from Peanuts. Fill her with water and nuke her and presto the “nuker” is cleaned. Just use a cloth. One sells a 25’ no-tangle phone cord. What? You mean there is someone in America who still uses a cord phone?
One of my all-time favorites is the Drizzle Spoon. Yes, you can avoid the agonizing debilitating and useless regular spoon when decorating dessert plates by using this special spoon. (TIC) Next to that would be the Clothes Hanger Holder. Finally, a forward thinking company has produced a holder for plastic hangers. I say if you have so many hangers you need a box to store them in you have too many hangers. Ever heard of Operation Love or GoodWill? Donate.
How about a book titled 101 Uses for a Chihuahua. And I only thought there was one use for them: to stain your carpets.
There is one product that I will be using. Dr. King’s Mole and Tag Remover. It is described as homeopathic and the best product to remove tags and moles. We don’t play the game of tag anymore so that is not a problem. However, we have several things in our house with tags on them: our mattress has a tag that shouts, “Do not remove under penalty of law!” I am afraid to touch it. There are tags on a leather chair in the living room, some of my clothing still has tags on it, some Christmas gifts still have tags and some older items that did not sell at our last yard sale are still adorned with tags. I will be happy when they are gone
The most interesting aspect of this product is the removal of moles. Holy Moly, we occasionally have moles working in our back yard. Next spring when the time is right I am going to take this mole removal juice out to the yard and let it work. I don’t know if I will be required to dig up the critters and give them a shot or force them to take it orally or just sprinkle them with it. Either way I will glad when they are gone because they make the yard hard to mow. Good riddance.
[Larry Vandeventer. Go to my two websites – Larryvandeventer.com and wjrambler1956.com – and purchase my books. I grew up North of Calvertville and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State. Contact me at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.]