I may be the only warped board in the pile but I think this is funny

I wish I were clever and intelligent enough to have created these words but I am not. I have been collecting them from many sources for some time and now it is time to share them with you. I make no claim of authorship.

• There is a movie about a rabid motorist driving very dangerously on Nevada highways – “Weaving Las Vegas.”

• I did this. In order to undergo basic training to become a sailor, could a person enroll in “boat camp?”

• Why did the hair salon hire so many saintly twenty-somethings? I guess “Only the good dye young.”

• Book about a person reclining on a sunny pool deck after going for a dip, “As I lay drying.”

• Some trigonometry teachers are having a talk over there. I think they are using “sine language.”

• A food that tastes absolutely fantastic is an “Incredible edible.”

• “Brahm’s bombs,” compositions of music that Brahms could not sell.

• When a worm finds itself enclosed in a fuzzy peach, I suppose you could say “It’s impeached.”

• Since I am beginning the dog training, I suppose it could be time to “Start the heeling process.”

• Because I have a slight understanding bout giving tattoos, I’d call that an “Inking inkling.”

• Dining out with a podiatrist is fantastic because as a rule he winds up “footing the bill.”

• “In-Sum-Nia” is the lack of ability to add a column of numbers.

• The long time rowing boat racer wants to find a new career; he must bored “Out of his scull.”

• When singer Della penned her own musical composition, I guess those were “Reeces’s Pieces.”

• If I say I will catch the world’s largest trout today, I reckon that’ only ‘fishful thinking.”

• Since Donald Duck’s nephew got soaked with morning moisture, people call him ‘Dewy Dewey.”

• Odd film in which James Dean rejects the use of good grammar habits: “Rebel without a clause.” (That is good.)

• A group of chimney sweeps call in sick the other day. I was thinking they had the flue.

• When you are greeting a curmudgeon who constantly grumbles, I would say “You’re hailing a crab.”

[Larry Vandeventer. Go to my two websites – Larryvandeventer.com and wjrambler1956.com – and purchase my books. I grew up North of Calvertville and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State. Contact me at Goosecrick@aol.com or 812-796-0784]