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Wednesday, Sep. 17, 2014

Sunday was a good day to be an American

Posted Wednesday, April 15, 2009, at 11:50 AM

Easter Sunday was a good day to be an American. Three shots from 75 feet in the dark with choppy seas.

I've never been a big fan of war but there are times when somebody needs to do something and the SEALS did it Sunday.

Normally, it wouldn't feel right to be cheering "Hip, hip, hooray" when three persons lose their life, but this time, it didn't bother me at all. Maybe it's because I remember what happened in Somalia in years past - the Battles of Mogadishu, etc.

In other news off the coast of Somalia, I saw where a thousand dolphins had prevented an attack by surfacing between a fishing ship and pirates -- that was cool. Here's a longish link to the picture if you haven't seen it --- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnew...

Closer to home, two people died after a sword fight in Indianapolis ... a sword fight? A mother died when she tried to stop it -- they had been going at it for half an hour. One looked French and the other one's name was Adolf -- he died and the one with the French-ish name is being charged. These were adults, not kids. It just goes to show truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

And then in news on America's messy political front -- Blagojevich has an offer to be on an MSNBC reality show about survival in a Costa Rican jungle. It's news that sounds like a comedy routine -- you can't make this stuff up.

Finally, to get the required word count in on deadline for this column, here's a list of new stock market terminology that's floating around online:

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

Bull Market -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market -- A 6- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

Value Investing -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E Ratio -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

Broker -- What my financial advisor has made me.

Standard & Poor -- Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Stock Split -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

Financial Planner -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

Market Correction -- The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Yahoo -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

Windows -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.

Institutional Investor -- Former investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

Profit -- An archaic word no longer in use.


Comments
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[Show most recent comments first]

truly awesome. i really enjoied this article,one because you relayed the main story, two because you are honest as to why you were including the random info regarding lingo. will you ever be blogging about the state of affairs in the linton area in regards to houses that need fixed or flipped?

-- Posted by onebyone on Wed, Apr 15, 2009, at 2:17 PM

Way to go USN SEALs! HooYa!

-- Posted by SEAL on Mon, Apr 20, 2009, at 8:07 AM

"Required word count"?

-- Posted by Paul on Tue, Apr 21, 2009, at 9:27 AM


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