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It's about gas guzzlers, not clunkersPosted Thursday, August 6, 2009, at 1:45 PM
Always read the fine print.
When the news first started appearing online, along with emails from Ellsworth, with screaming headlines about the government's "Cash for Clunkers" program, I thought this fall would be a good time to get a new car.
Ever seen my car? Yeah. Well, I just assumed it would qualify as a "clunker." Wrong.
According to the U.S. government, I do not drive a "clunker."
The reason is because my car gets over 18 mpg.
According to the American Heritage dictionary, a "clunker" is a decrepit machine, especially an old car, a rattletrap.
The real name of the government program is C.A.R.S. which stands for Car Allowance Rebate System. But from the beginning, it was known as the "Cash for Clunkers" program.
Leave it to Congress to use words in ways that are not recognized by dictionaries.
Why in the heck did they start calling it "Cash for Clunkers" when it wasn't about "clunkers" at all?
By their definition, a Hummer is a "clunker." So is a Toyota Land Cruiser. And a Lincoln Continental.
Once the program went into effect and I took the time to read the rules, and figured out I'm not a "clunker" driver, I haven't bothered to read much more about it.
But later on, I did notice some more headlines about how the program ran into some kind of glitch (no, surely not) and had been suspended.
Beats me what happened. I don't watch much news these days - just not in the mood for the expert opinions of Gloria Borger and Candy Crowley, etc.
Cable news and newspapers have all moved off the "clunker" topic anyway.
Now they're talking about health care.
Hmm.... If Congress can't put together something like a car rebate program and make it work, what makes people think they could put together a health care deal that works?
Time to read the fine print again.
Anna Rochelle is a staff writer at the Greene County Daily World and can be reached by calling 812-847-4487 or by sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
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