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Monday, July 28, 2014

'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about'

Posted Wednesday, March 3, 2010, at 3:10 PM

Remember when people started using the phrase "generation gap" like it was something new? I don't think it was anything new -- there's always been, and always will be a generation gap.

On the low side of the gap, some people say they will never do or say the things their parents said. Then it seems like all of a sudden, you realize you're on the high side of the gap and it hits you -- you are indeed doing and saying the things your parents said to you.

The guy who supplies me with all of the best e-mails that are circulating online sent this one to me this week -- it's about those classic things mothers, and fathers, say. Ever heard these? Or are you now the one that says them?

1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me logic. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me more logic. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me irony. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about contortionism. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about weather. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the circle of life. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about behavior modification. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about envy. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about anticipation. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about receiving. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me medical science. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me humor. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me how to become an adult. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me genetics. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my roots. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me wisdom. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about justice. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

So have you used in any of these on your own kids? Yup, thought so. I have, but I'm not going to say which ones.

Anna is a staff writer at the Greene County Daily World and can be reached by calling 847-4487 or by sending an e-mail to indianarose@fastmail.us .


Comments
Showing comments in chronological order
[Show most recent comments first]

Very good article--

Dont forget--- If I have to stop this car..

-- Posted by gary g on Wed, Mar 3, 2010, at 7:17 PM

i have to admit that yes i have used a few of these also and said never would.... but im not tellin wich ones either....lol....thanks for sharing this

-- Posted by sissy on Wed, Mar 3, 2010, at 7:20 PM

Very enjoyable article! A nice change from all the abuse and murder etc that is usually in the paper! I really enjoyed this article and all the fond memories it brought back

-- Posted by Scorpio1969 on Thu, Mar 4, 2010, at 3:51 PM


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