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Sunday, Dec. 8, 2013
Would a zombie find me appetizing?Posted Wednesday, May 30, 2012, at 1:28 PM
For the first time I am entirely willing to admit the Internet, television and movie industries are completely messing with our heads.
There are two words to describe the madness dominating many generation's fear for the future: Zombie Apocalypse.
I was never a fan of zombie movies. Flesh in someone else's teeth never really appealed to me.
Watching the Hannibal Lector movies as a teen caused nightmares for years. I couldn't imagine watching a whole slew of flesh-eating creatures roaming the streets.
The movie Dawn of the Dead (followed by the satirical Shaun of the Dead) and the television show The Walking Dead have fueled conversations of the undead walking the earth.
Although, I must admit the comedy Zombieland did make me giggle.
I've heard people joke about survival techniques and mentally line up refuges in the event of a zombie attack.
The conversation flared when reports of a man in Florida eating another man's face began to surface.
Headlines suggested the man was zombified as it took almost a half a dozen shots from a police officer to bring the man down, after he had eaten about 75 percent of the other man's face.
Of course, the logical explanation came from the coroner after blood tests showed an elevated amount of an LSD-type drug -- believed to be bath salts -- in the man's system.
Bath salts cause elevated body temperature and delusions.
I was talking to a friend about the headlining story, and she jokingly said, "That's just what they want us to think."
I wonder how many conspiracy theorists really believe this?
Even the Wikipedia entry on flesh eating zombies is labeled fictional.
Zombie survival techniques can make for an interesting topic of discussion though, if you are in need of entertainment.
My friend and I are building a refuge similar to a bomb shelter in her back yard with a camouflaged entry door, so no one can find us in the event the undead start roaming the earth.
Zombieland taught me the importance of double-tab. Take an extra shot just to make sure the undead actually do meet their demise.
There is actually an entire book dedicated to survival techniques and physiology of zombies to help outsmart the undead with Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide.
I may have to invest in this book just in case the government is hiding something from us.
All joking aside, my dear friend reassured me I don't have enough brains to even be considered an appetizer.
Sabrina is a staff writer for the Greene County Daily World. She can be reached by email at email@example.com or by telephone at 847-4487.
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