An Open Letter to Lazy Homeschoolers

"We don't need to be taught how to learn: we're born knowing and wanting to....The hardest thing for parents to learn is hands-off. Teach less, not more." - John Holt

I would like to know who it is you are directing this at? I have been homeschooling and I have yet to meet a parent who does not educate their child well. Even Unschoolers. Unschooling does not mean they are not learning just that the parent is taking a more democratic role in the childs learning process. Many Unschoolers do their subjects very well and many learning materials are provided free access in the home with library trips and feild trips and so on. As far as Home Economics not being a subject or learning....why do the high schools teach it then? well please go on and explain. Is this for fun? BTW as an adult I have been privy to have used a textbook that is math based on cooking for college students!!! Tell me how cooking and cleaning are not important subjects again please. I was a culinary student and I can tell you all about the kitchen and its relation to science, art, and math. Food writing btw is a real job thats out there. Not to mention cooking and cleaning are very good life skills that not enough children have these days. Even homekeeping can be translated into a future job so therefore these subjects are integrated into our main lessons. I think your article is way off and future research should be required for you my dear. Not everyone has to be the style of "school at home" to be considered a valid homeschooler and a responsible parent. I am sure einstein built forts and cooked and cleaned as well. I guess he did not turn out too shabby. eh?

Continued...on to the topic of home ec.

I never said that home economics is not important. I plan to include it as a high school course in the next couple of years for my kids. I want them to learn more advanced cooking techniques, sew, plan a menu and budget, and other essentials for running a home. We've also taught these things to them as they have grown up. My kids have daily chores and cook often. We've utilized the 4-H program to teach them many of these things as well.

What I am against is calling daily chores school. Many years ago, before education became compulsory, often kids were kept home from school because their parents needed them to work around the home or the farm. Now, there's nothing wrong with requiring kids to work, and I think they should be required to work. But when they are not doing anything else except for working, and the parents are just calling it "home ec," there's something wrong with that.

An occasional day of it is no problem to me. I'm not against even taking an entire day to work on things around the home and calling it school once in awhile. It's not going to hurt anything as long as the regular school is getting done, too. It's when it becomes a regular habit that it starts to become a problem.

Really, though, my kids know how to wash dishes. Calling it "home ec" is just silly to me. When it's school, kids should be getting a chance to learn something new, not having to do something they already know how to do and do every day anyway.

I think you are missing my point. Obviously, you have taught your kids something. I am not judging your methods--I do believe that parents should have the freedom to educate their children however they wish. However, by law, they are required to actually educate them.

What I am against is parents whose kids are truant but are calling themselves homeschoolers, or those that are simply giving homeschooling a half-hearted effort because they don't want to deal with it. I have seen this. You, obviously, are not one of the people to whom this post is directed.

Thankfully, there are not very many people who say they are homeschooling and are not, but they do exist. I have met them. And I am meeting more of them the older I get.

I also have seen more people who are making an effort, but just aren't putting the effort into it like they used to. This scares me.

If you are teaching your kids, I applaud you. Textbooks are not always the best way. I grew up on unit studies and know first-hand that there are many ways to successfully homeschool. I have never said that anyone has to homeschool my way--I just want people to actually take homeschooling seriously.

I am almost at a loss for words. Almost. What good does it do to criticize other parents in an 'open letter'? Why not just keep doing whatever you think is right for YOUR CHILDREN and (as a bonus) lead by example? Do what's right for your child, your family.

Also, realize that when you're using the public schools as your only litmus test for what constitutes an education, your children are not their test scores. I've met many kids in school with rock-solid test scores who were flat out miserable and unmotivated,, hated all adults as a rule, even suicidal. Recipe for success?

And spending a day canning? That's the best example of 'lazy homeschooling' you can think of? That's a victory day in my house! Canning is ratios (we're going to triple this recipe, how much sugar do we need?), biology (mommy, what's botulism?), history (how did we eat before refrigeration existed?), environmental science (why do we grow our own food, and why is it important to us?) and physics (what is a vacuum? how are they created?).

When we're being lazy, we spend the day doing absolutely nothing at all. And I'm totally OK with that. As a former teacher I can say that 75%+ of time in school is wasted with crowd control, transitions, and administrativia. My kid learns in an hour what public schooled kids learn in a week. So, yeah, plenty of time to be lazy (or in our case these days, run a business!). It's one of my favorite things about homeschooling!

This post disturbs me in a variety of ways.

First it assumes authority over what is the right way to home school and the 'lazy' or wrong way. This does not account for the possibility that other homeschooling parents may have different ideas about what constitutes learning and it assumes that 'teaching' is required for a 'proper education'.

It also posits that homeschooling = school at home. Don't assume that the outcomes I want for my children are the same that you want for yours. If you think that public education is something worth emulating at home I suggest you view George Carlin's piece on the 'American Dream' on You Tube.

My wife and I are very focused on our children's learning process, but we assiduously avoid teaching our children anything unless they ask us for some knowledge that we may have whereupon we give it freely until they let us know they've heard enough. We stay focused on being aware of their interests and passions as they emerge and develop and we work to facilitate and provide the resources and experiences they seek to further their own paths to knowledge.

Collateral learning happens everyday for them. They come to us to help them unlock specialized types of knowledge like math or language skills etc, only when the lack of them impedes their progress with their current chosen endeavor. These endeavors can be fleeting or deeply engaging over long periods of time.

My 8 year-old is creating computer gaming environments which he hosts on a server and admins for other players. He came to us for a great deal of help and facilitation to get the knowledge base necessary to run his own game server. He had to absorb a tremendous amount of technical knowledge and now he is dealing with the challenges of attracting players to his world and administering to their needs.

My 12 year-old draws and writes fan-fiction almost everyday around her year long passion for an Animé that anthropomorphizes nations around the world. She posts on a forum of peers giving and receiving feedback on her writing. This has also sparked a voracious appetite for geography whereupon we provided a much desired globe purchased from a local antique store and has prompted many discussions on other countries, politics and history. Yet, these are discussions and dialogues... not teaching.

We are quite satisfied with the passion and achievements our children are making with their own learning paths. But, I would never presume to expect other homeschooling parents to hold my way as the only or best way for everyone else. Please show the same respect... Homeschooling is a form of liberty and I don't need a government or a school board enforcing their ideas about education, and I certainly don't need a fellow homeschooling parent looking down on me for doing what I think is right for my family... and that includes Unschooling.

My expectation for my children is that they will become competent at acquiring the knowledge they need in life and become confident at taking the right actions to achieve their goals and desires whatever they are.

I read your article and I must agree with you. I am a product of 'lazy homeschoolers', my dad was adamant about not sending us to public school, private school was not an option, and there was no such thing as cyber school. So mom taught All four of us at home. Didn't even bother to register with the state, we just stayed inside till 3. We didn't exist according to the state. Mom put together a curriculum at the beginning of the school year and we started the first Monday after labor day. She did teach us how to read, and do addition and subtraction. But she relied heavily on the textbooks teaching us the concepts, and if we got stuck she would make us read the lesson again. By mid to late October, she just wouldn't do much else, and we would always push for less school anyway. By December school consisted of us watching tv, and reading the encyclopedia for fun. January she renewed the school effort and we got more formal lessons. But come the end of febuary, the winter blahs took hold and we were lucky if she got out of bed before 1pm! On Memorial day we packed up our school stuff to be passed down to the next sibling in line when the reached that 'grade'.

There was no one to hold my mom accountable, and she never sought out any one for help or support.

Today two of my sisters have taken their GED and one scored in the top fifth percent in the state. But they also worked their buts off studying for it too. I don't have a GED, dad printed out a 'diploma' from our homeschool, but an accredited institute accepted it and I now hold a degree.

I have my daughter enrolled in an online school now and that is about as close to homeschooling as I can get. Partly due to custody issues and partly because I am so afraid that I will become too lazy and hurt my child's chances to become what she wants - a doctor.

We will often start school 'late', at 10am, and we finish 'early' at 2pm. We may go out for field trips all day and not do any work that day, then the next day do three days worth. This leaves us with much room for many exciting things and may appear laxidasical to some. She has already finished out the 2nd grade curriculum for this year and has been recommended for the gifted program for next year.

There is one problem with your article though, everyone that responded obviously cares very much for their child's education and will do everything in their power to give them the best. They read the article because they read up on anything homeschooling. But those that need it, the ones who give homeschooling a bad name, don't. They won't seek the help and support they need. Sometimes it's because they think they don't need it, others because they don't want it, but mostly because they are lazy.

Thank you all for your replies. There are so many that I cannot begin to address them all individually, but I did want to comment a little bit more on the subject of unschooling, even though that is not what my initial post was about.

I think the term "unschooling" was poor choice of a name for what unschoolers actually do. It implies a complete lack of parental oversight and suggests that if one simply pulls their children from public school, they will be all right.

I much prefer the term Delight Directed Learning. It's very similar in concept and much better describes what the parents here who have stood up in support of unschooling actually do with their kids. It springboards from the child's natural curiosity. The lessons are not based on a calendar of what the teacher has decided the child will learn, but are formed around the child has shown interest in learning.

These kinds of child-led learning can be an amazing experience. My mother experimented with it a bit with some of my younger siblings who are still at home. She did, however, require regular math lessons.

Delight Directed Learning (or unschooling if you must) still needs to have a parent to guide, though. They must provide the resources the kids need and the opportunities for the kids to learn. They have to take the kids places--the zoo, the state forest, the museum and participate in the hands-on activities with them.

In fact, I would venture to say that unschooling done right is as much work or even more on the part of the parent than traditional textbook learning. Either way, homeschooing is something that parents have to be willing to invest their time into. I heard once that parents need to consider homeschooling a part-time job, since that is about how many hours a week they should devote to it.

As a home educator of 3, I'm spending my days just trying to keep up or not get run over. However, when I read your post, I got that familiar twinge of guilt that I felt in the very beginning as an accidental homeschooler. Then, I quickly snapped out of it. Lazy is the last thing I would describe myself as I'm mostly exhausted at the end of each day with my kids.

However, I don't do drills, or worksheets or do anything like what you describe as "educating" the kids. Our daily life is already so busy and active, and although it's weird to say, I don't really have time to "teach" them. If you were to measure us by the conventional schooly standard, you would probably see that the education part is "sub-par." They don't have folders and binders full of completed essays and worksheets, or walls full of crafty stuff for that matter.

However, there is no doubt that compared to their schooled peers, they are so much more "productive." They are far dirtier, because they spend more time outside and in the earth than schooled kids do. They are far more articulate, because they spend more time engaged in meaningful social interaction with people of all ages then schooled kids are. They are far busier, fully engrossed in singing, or jumping, or programming new apps or watching the latest Marvel cartoon.

I get that we still have to pander to government and mainstream expectations of what an educated child should look and feel like. But it's also important to show the mainstream world that a real child often doesn't look and feel like the product of conventional schooling. When these things go against the grain of mainstream expectations, it's far better to err on the side of home educating paradigms - even when it appears to be "lazy" by mainstream standards.

You are brave to write about the way other people homeschool and to call it lazy. I have been homeschooling the lazy way for 22 years. I have two children in college on (academic) scholarship and three more at home still. They learned plenty and most of it they learned on their own that they felt was relevant. Instead of looking over their shoulders and pushing certain subjects I have led my life doing the things I like to do, like parenting, gardening, sewing, reading..... So far I think they are fine. Most of all, they know how to think for themselves. You inspired my last blog post, (http://itisournormal.blogspot.com/2012/05/evidently-i-am-lazy.html) thanks!

I love it when people like Lisa Luper & "teachmom" decide that because homeschooling is "the hardest job EVER" for THEM, then it should be difficult for everyone. That is backwards thinking. Doesn't it make more sense to find people for whom homeschooling isn't so difficult and then LEARN from them?

when I read this blog I understood what the writer was saying. I watch as my sister in law allows her kids to fall further behind because she is lacking in her ability to home school that many kids on her own. It started with her oldest child missing more and more school in a PS because she wasn't a morning person and didn't like to wake up and get ready for school. So they often missed the bus and just stayed home. The child started falling behind in school and began to struggle. This made her dislike school and in turn not want to go. My SIL began getting letters and calls from the school and during conferences hearing about how the lack of attendance has delivered a child who has a short attention span and is fostering a dislike of learning what didn't come automatically. Finally the school recommended putting the kid in a remedial class to help her catch up with a tutor. Well, that was the final blow to my SIL, she took it as a personal attack on her parenting. So he took her kid out of PS to home school. I should mention that my SIL also struggled with school in High School and was never a strong student. My husband blames his sisters apathy for her poor grades in high school because she had been a very strong student till then. Well 5 years later and the oldest still is not a functioning reader at the age of 10. My SIL blamed a learning disability on this, till a test stated she didn't have one, and practice and personal interest would bring out the will to learn for the child. All 5 kids are 2 years apart and the 6 and 8 year olds don't read or have a working concept for math either. none of the kids in HS have the ability to write in sentences other than copying down single words at a time. All of there lack of learning seem to stem from the fact that they only get an average of 1 to 2 days of school a week. now curriculum on any kind is used and nothing is kept track of either. every school day is on the fly and there is no way to find out what has already been covered and learned. I believe parents have the right to teach the way they want and I have never heard of a type of HSing that I didn't think would work for some families some ware. But I think that if the HS is not teaching because of neglect and laziness or apathy it is stepping on human rights. I see children as having the human right to have access to leaning and knowledge. they shouldn't be kept from that because of a parents decision to be apathetic. She is obviously to prideful to acknowledge defeat and accept help to keep her kids HS. It is too the point that daily chores and PBS is considered a good day of learning for these kids. I don't even like to visit very long with them because it is so sad how far behind they continue to fall. I also have started to notice the older kids becoming aware of this fact and they have stopped playing with other kids and it is very rare that spend time with any other children then themselves. I have even had My SIL cancel come over to a family dinner when she finds out that other peoples kids are going to be there. She gets really mad and defensive when her kids are out shined by another even it is just playing a card game where the older kids are unable to keep up or follow the directions because of their short falls in math and reading.

I just read this blog today, and my knee-jerk response was that this writer has a very narrow idea of what legitimate homeschooling looks like, and was harsh in judging others to be lazy. But as I read in the comments section, my sense was that she really was trying to address the small minority of neglectful parents who are homeschoolers in name only. Granted, she worded things broadly, choosing inflammatory terms. I also recognized a sentiment that I first observed when I became acquainted with TX homeschool pioneers in '07.

At a THSC leadership conference, I listened to these pioneers explore the fact that homeschoolers today are opting out of public schools for different reasons than their pioneer counterparts. This was concerning to them, for some of the same reasons cited by Ms. Luper. They acknowledged that the vast majority of homeschoolers are people who sincerely want their kids to do well, and do their best to give them a great education. At the same time, along with the comfort of broad freedom, there is the danger that it will be taken for granted, that modern homeschoolers will be complacent, not having fought to earn the freedom in the first place. Homeschooling families do need to keep producing children that are contributing members of society. I'm certain that they will continue to do so, because the ways to arrive there are infinite.

But Ms. Luper does make an important point, one that is not lost on the THSC, and many others. That is that the government is just bursting with desire to seize power in any place that they don't enjoy full reign already. That is reason enough to remind each of us that wariness of any public policy that could lead to the usurpation of parental rights is vital. It is the family and community's place to reach out and assist struggling families.

There are kids suffering from neglect, and parents that just don't know or don't have confidence about how to go about homeschooling. We their peers are perhaps the best equipped to support them. And if they are hovering near the line where government may really need to step in, then we need to up our efforts all the more, to help them avoid that nightmare. And even great homeschoolers can come under attack by intrusive government.

Both groups can be helped by organizations like the THSC and HSLDA. They are blessing a huge amount of families who really need the extra support to deal with the law simply by writing letters to government officials that have overstepped the bounds of the law. It happens all the time. The THSC has an amazing website that can help any homeschoolers know how to preserve their rights and interact with any government education officials. Every state needs an organization like this! http://www.thsc.org/Categories.aspx?Id=H...

The best thing we can do is know the law in our own state of residence. Know your rights, and if there isn't an infrastructure to support homeschoolers, help to build it. It's ok that we all homeschool for different reasons and through different means. The best way to prevent sub-par education at home is to enrich the community around us to allow for greater resources and support among homeschoolers. And of course apply the TJEd principles in our own homes, leading by example! Educated parents will yield educated children.