100 things to do when you’re bored

This neighbor child complained of boredom and just like that, my carpets are clean!

My kids learned early in life never to complain to me about being bored. Even the mention of being bored from any of them would send me on a tirade. Not a raving-ranting-call-the-loony-bin-to-come-get-mom kind of tirade, but one in which I would spout off some of the most ridiculous activities I could think of, going on until the complainer either wasn’t bored anymore or just got tired of my shenanigans.

Justin: Mom, I’m bored. Me: Make a paper hat. Draw an animal you would like to ride in a race. Invent new ways to tie your shoes. Invent new shoes. Cure the common cold. Learn to make baked Alaska. Make a list of...

Justin: Nevermind. I’m gonna go outside...

I always wanted my kids to exercise their creativity. If you’re creative, you’re seldom bored. Sometimes I think boredom is nature’s way of saying you need to think outside the box a bit. There is always something you can invent, improve, create or decorate and being bored means you aren’t challenging yourself.

Learning new things is a great way to stave off boredom. The trick is to teach that to your kids without sounding like you’re trying to trick them into doing homework.

Forget homework, try learning something less academic, like how to make homemade pasta. An extra bonus to making homemade pasta is it’s an all-day project and when you’re done, you can come up with a list of ways to get dough off of your ceiling. Or create fun new sauces from on-hand ingredients like mustard and butter. Kids love butter.

Another fun way to be less bored is to write imaginary biographies of people you’ve never met. Make sure, if you intend to publish such stories, that you are not defaming a real person. Lawsuits are far from boring, but jail time is very, very boring. Keep it in the realm of fantasy, and just slander them on Facebook like everybody else does.

I used to enjoy making people out of popsicle sticks and then forcing them to perform scenarios I had dreamed up. Yeah, I didn’t have a lot of friends when I was young.

Music is a great way to distract a bored child. a big bass drum and a cymbal and they can kiss that boredom bye-bye. This technique is best put to use when the kids are staying the night with Grandma, particularly if she’s overdue for a new hearing aid or if you just don’t like Grandma.

Teach your kids to volunteer, it’s a virtue that will improve their lives and the lives of those who benefit from them volunteering. When you have finally taught them, please send them to my house, I have a list of fun activities in mind for them (it starts with ‘vacuuming’ and ends with ‘make me a baked Alaska’).