Cancer: the C-quel

At least it's kinda pretty......

PART TWO

Last week, when I was finally able to insert a period, stop tap-tap-tapping away on this Mini Mac and just stop endlessly talking about myself, I was at the part in my riveting leukemia journey where I had met all of the hottie doctors, Dr. Waits being the latest (tall, the kindest eyes you can imagine and determined to solve puzzles involving blood cells, wonky cancer cells and why can’t they all just get along? Oh, and also, I’ve never noticed a staff that seems to adore the doctor they work for more. Gotta be a sign of something good.

So, days before, my mind was all psyched up to get my heart through this double-bypass business, and suddenly I’m being informed I have an appointment in Daviess County for something completely different that I thought I could safely ignore for a few years like most people diagnosed with CLL.

Good thing I had that benign brain tumor removed back in ‘92 (you think I’m kidding? Come feel my head, the bowling-ball divots are still there from that adventure) or I believe my poor little brain woulda hurt...

Speaking of “Oh, my aching brain,” let’s have a leukemia lesson, want to?

I love to learn and I love even more to sound like I know what I’m talking about, at least until the faces of my friends glaze over with that faraway look and I win.

Okay, here’s the basics, at least as they relate to me: Leukemia is a cancer of the blood and bone marrow and there are four major kinds (CLL, CML, ALL and AML), each identified based on the type of cell involved and the rate the disease progresses. They’re all gross and have no friends and no one wants to hang out with them. Normally, a mature blood stem cell develops into a white blood cell or a red blood cell or what-have-you and you go on about your business and you don’t worry about mutants or cells turning themselves and other cells wonky. So, yay.

But if you’re me, and you’re not, bring on the cancerous mutation parade. The lymphocytes turn lymphocytic (bad) and the red ones and platelets can turn myeloid (bad) and you can’t even feel it happening as they do the replication rhumba for you-don’t-know-how-long so how fair is that?

None. It’s none fair.

CLL is a pretty weird cancer to have, which is totally why it chose me. Nobody really knows what causes it, but a link has been shown to Agent Orange (I was only in the ‘Nam for a brief time, did some heroic acts and split so probably not that) and it tends to show up in families, so genetics clearly play a part. My sister Barb had CLL, you see. Stage zero, never progressed at all in her, the turd.

So, once the cell that was supposed to turn into a healthy lymphocyte goes wonky and abnormal, it starts literally making new friends, wonky ones like itself. Probably because no one wanted to hang out with it earlier, but I could be wrong.

It goes coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs with the uncontrollable multiplication, causing hordes of leukemia cells to pile up in the blood, bone marrow and lymphoid tissues.

Oh, and these Frankenstein’s monster cells? They’re monsters. They’re stronger, they live longer and they all ride motorcycles. Fast. Without helmets. They grow and survive better, and they crowd out the healthy cells. They’re just rude jerks who like to pick on old ladies.

A normal white blood cell count ranges between 4,500 to 11,000 cells per microliter of blood. Anything greater than 11,000 and you’ve got yourself a worried doctor, several options of sickness and your DNA has got some ‘splainin’ to do............

See part three next week, when I take you through the infusion process with me. Whee!

Patti is Editor of the Greene County Daily World. She loves to laugh and also loves kitties. She’s kind of weird but has a heart of gold. If you would like to share a story or just make a friend, she can be reached at pattigcdw@gmail.com.