That's Carolling???

Posted Thursday, December 6, 2007, at 7:12 PM

Look at Frosty Go

I picked up my grandson after work and played with him on the floor for a couple of hours prior to my relief showing up. It is like a Tag Team wrestling match with that little feller, now at 2 years of age. He has more energy in his little finger than I have in my entire body. Great evening though and I thoroughly enjoy it evertime that I get him. But I had worked all day and I've got to go back in again tomorrow, so it was time for old Poppy to head home.

I figured that I would cruise on back to Bloomfield, listening to some music and getting ready for a quiet couple of hours of reading prior to dozing off. Unfortunately, I was rocked back in my seat just as I approached McDonalds with some of the most disconcerting noise that I have ever heard. This time of year, the radio is pretty much full of Christmas music on many of the local channels. I really don't care and, as a matter of fact, I kind of like an old Bing Crosby rendition of "White Christmas" or even that gal who sings "All I Want for Christmas is You". I'm not sure who she is, I've probably heard, but I seldom remember much of what I hear anymore. I'll even belt out the song with them, if I know the words and, of course, if I'm in the car alone with the windows securely rolled up. I am a terrible singer, no let me elaborate on that a little, I am the worst singer to ever attempt to use his vocals cords for anything other than polite conversation.

I digress though and really should get back to the subject at hand, which was the most awful sounding stuff that I have heard since my first experience with listening to Ethel Merman. There was some guy, I think it was a guy, but I couldn't testify in court to that fact, who was doing some kind of rap stuff and I'm fairly sure it was "The Little Drummer Boy". I would wager to say that this kind of nonsense is illegal in at least 47 of the 48 contiguous continental United States. I know they wouldn't allow it in Alaska, unless they've changed a lot since I lived there, and I don't even care what they listen to in Hawaii. I'd bet money that this originated in California and without a doubt it is legal to play it in public. No one should ever be subjected to something like that while operating a moving vehicle.

I have lived precariously close to that fine line separating sanity and insanity for most of my adult life. One thing you can be sure of though, if you enter my abode and see me listening to rap music without being tied to the chair, you may as well call the funny farm, because you'll know that Old Simmons has crossed over the line.

Now, if they had put Porky Pig on the air singing "I'll Have a B-B-B-B-Blue Christmas Without You", I would have sang along and laughed all the way across the river. Merry Christmas to all and to all, a Goodnight.

P.S. As I finish up my Christmas shopping, I shall relate to you soon, the joys of Toy-R-Us.

Comments
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Oh my gosh... I think I heard part of the same thing earlier this evening! It was the strangest thing I'd ever heard. I guess everyone has their own "artistic interpretation" of things.

-- Posted by bethwernz on Thu, Dec 6, 2007, at 7:53 PM

Even though you stated you didn't care what they listen to in Hawaii, I thought I'd chime in for the educational benefit of your vast readership. Based on my extensive experience in Hawaii around Christmas time (a one hour layover on my way to the friendly confines of the Republic of Korea) I'm fairly certain the only music that's allowed in Hawaii are recordings of the late Don Ho and the theme songs from Hawaii Five-0 and Magnum, P. I.

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Thu, Dec 6, 2007, at 8:19 PM

"artistic interpretation" should not include SLANDEROUS reinterpitation of another artists work... ie: the writer of the Little Drummer Boy would rolloever in his grave if heard what you guys were SUBJECTED TO!

NOW if someone was singing that for the shear enjoyment I am sure there would be NO problem but----- Ya for Profit... OH well I am'a nut...

and Like Simmons if you find me in my truck slumped over listening to RAP-- there's been an attemped hijacking and I was trying to scare them off.

-- Posted by silerCityDude on Thu, Dec 6, 2007, at 8:53 PM

"Artistic interpretation" was an hilarious term that Beth used, but she is much more politically correct than I. At least it gave me a smile early in the morning, thanks.

As for Don Ho in Hawaii, did he ever sing anything besides Tiny Bubbles. My "vast readership" probably doesn't extend to Hawaii, so I doubt that Don will be offended by my lack of any Aloha Christmas music while the surf is up.

Dude, if I find you slumped over in your truck with rap on, I'll definitely turn it off before I call 911.

Heading out in the snow and ice now, have a great day.

-- Posted by simmons on Fri, Dec 7, 2007, at 5:11 AM

Simmons, I believe the song you are referring to is the Dandy Warhol's version of Little Drummer Boy. But I don't believe it is a "generational thing", but rather a REALLY REALLY bad version of the ol' Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum. I'm sure that not only are Davis,Onorati, and Simeone (no relation I hope) rolling over in their graves but also Andy Warhol for whom the band was named. And that is certainly saying something.

I look forward to you enlightening your readership with your sage words. I have been fortunate enough to learn a lot from your wise pinings over the years. I'm glad the masses now will have the chance to hear from as wise an owl as i have ever known.

Blog On Simmons...Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum!

-- Posted by midnightrambler on Fri, Dec 7, 2007, at 9:31 AM

Simmons, there's no arguing taste. One man's yuck in another man's yum. Me myself, I prefer some classic Glenn Miller Christmas arrangements or, better yet, Stan Kenton's Christmas!

-- Posted by Mr. F on Sun, Dec 9, 2007, at 12:27 PM

I like to enjoy some Glenn Miller from time to time and I own an Elvis Christmas CD, good stuff.

However, I've never been saddled with that "scholar" moniker and I'm afraid if that is what you are expecting, I will be a major disappointment. Plus, if you are waiting on me to become more self disciplined (I'm not sure how to do that anymore), you'll never be satisfied with my abject insubordination and despicable disorderly conduct. I'll apologize in advance for this behavior.

"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character." I don't know who said it, but I can identify with it (and it was rather humorous).

-- Posted by simmons on Sun, Dec 9, 2007, at 5:51 PM

well I will put in 2 more cents from my corner.

1. as a child my radio was tuned to WWCM in brazil and so I grew up thinking IF IT WUDDINT CUNTRY IT WUDDINT music... Elvis Wuddint cuntry back then... WELL I like Elvis-- and that chrismas LP was GREAT, I've learned to like Glen Miller, and apreciate SOME POP music But I still have problems when some singer (not artist) miss interprets a song writters song--- Iriving Berlin had ot have loved Bing Crosby, I doubt if he could take Milli Vanilly trying to do White Christmas (if they did)

2. Simmons --- all that matters is if you sound like you know what your talking about :) Thats the way the politicians do it LOL

-- Posted by silerCityDude on Sun, Dec 9, 2007, at 9:31 PM

OH My inter jury is still out on that Hendrix version --- what I wander is if it was done with proper motive???

BUT I dont mind some changes to make a version all "your own" LIKE Elivis' MY WAY vs. Frank Sinatra's ... both distinct and THEIR own. and would both be credits to the author.

-- Posted by silerCityDude on Mon, Dec 10, 2007, at 10:04 PM

Beauty is not only in the eye, but in the ear of the beholder. I realize many people like rap (Why? I have yet to understand) and some like Jimi Hendrix. When I was young and slightly impressionable, I liked the Stones. I can honestly say that my Dad did not care for Mick Jagger or any other Rolling Stone. We are often separated by generation gaps, by regional preferences and a host of other influences, but the thing to remember is that we are all different and that is what makes life so special.

Just think...if we all liked the same kind of music..there would certainly be a bunch of musicians out of work.

Tolstoy said a couple of things I really liked: "Music is the shorthand of emotion." (think about that for a moment)

and my favorite

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."

-- Posted by simmons on Tue, Dec 11, 2007, at 7:03 PM

Scholar? I think Simmons thought Tolstoy was referring to Ray Nitschke.

-- Posted by Chris&Jeremy'sDad on Wed, Dec 12, 2007, at 6:17 AM

He wasn't?

-- Posted by simmons on Wed, Dec 12, 2007, at 4:24 PM

I think there might be a little of Nitschke and Nietzsche in ol' Simmons.

He is a paradoxical conundrum, like a soft fuzzy rock.

-- Posted by midnightrambler on Wed, Dec 12, 2007, at 4:48 PM

...and my favorite Nietzsche quote which i certainly can relate to.

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

Maybe we could rename your blog the Tao of Simmons.

-- Posted by midnightrambler on Wed, Dec 12, 2007, at 4:55 PM

"a paradoxical conundrum" you say Rambler.

A conundrum is basically a puzzle answered by a pun, like:

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

Whereas a paradox is generally an apparently true statement that leads to a contradiction.

You know, "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." (see Tin Cup, if you don't)

or "Is the answer to this question, no?"

Always remember grasshopper, "Governing a large state is like boiling a small fish."

-- Posted by simmons on Wed, Dec 12, 2007, at 8:26 PM

That is what i like about you Simmons, always on your toes. As I was typing "paradoxical conundrum" i admit i just liked the sound of it more than the literal translation being precise, it just flowed nicely onto the keyboard. My understanding of conundrums is minimal, yet i think of the Merriam-Webster definition: an intricate and difficult problem. And paradox as an anomalous juxtaposition of incongruous ideas for the sake of striking exposition or unexpected insight. But who really cares, any opportunity to reference Tin Cup is good in my book.

What a dream foursome on the course it would be Nietzsche, Nitschke, Simmons, and I. That is a conversation that would be priceless, although Ray and Friedricke probably putt as badly as Simmons and I.

If we get into Bukowski, we may have to put an NC-17 rating on ol'Simmons blog.

-- Posted by midnightrambler on Thu, Dec 13, 2007, at 1:46 PM

This has been an interesting blog. It has meandered from a crappy rap Xmas song to the ramblings Friedrich Nietzsche. A perfect circle. Don't you think?

-- Posted by Wiglund on Thu, Dec 13, 2007, at 3:49 PM

This has been an interesting blog. It has meandered from a crappy rap Xmas song to the ramblings Friedrich Nietzsche. A perfect circle. Don't you think?

-- Posted by Wiglund on Thu, Dec 13, 2007, at 3:49 PM

This has been an interesting blog. It has meandered from a crappy rap Xmas song to the ramblings of Friedrich Nietzsche. A perfect circle. Don't you think?

Sorry, left out a word.

-- Posted by Wiglund on Thu, Dec 13, 2007, at 3:50 PM

Finally Wigs gets out of the Lazy-Boy and offers some true rational thought. Evidence the comment on the "perfect circle", not a non-rational geometric sum of polynomials, but the rational geometric model using the ratio of sums of polynomials. Brilliant Wigs, nothing like some rational thought whilst we meander.

Playing Elvis as I write, by the way, did Bukowski play linebacker for da Bears.

"Onomatopoeia" was always my ugliest word. Looks and sounds like it a vowel movement. :>)

-- Posted by sims on Thu, Dec 13, 2007, at 7:35 PM

i think he also moonlighted as a butcher on the south side of chicago.

MMMM...Polish sausage!

-- Posted by midnightrambler on Sat, Dec 15, 2007, at 4:09 AM