While the cats are away, the mice will mostly stay home and read. (Pixabay)
I avoided people before it was directed by the governor. Now suddenly, everyone wants a taste of this lifestyle.
Here are a few tips on being alone together, but mostly just alone.
Tip One: Find Social Interactions Draining
My first tip is to convince yourself to find social interactions physically, psychologically and emotionally draining. In other words, force yourself to become an introvert. While an extrovert might recharge their batteries by going to parties and talking to friends and loved ones, an introvert recharges with alone-time. This could mean reading a book, daydreaming until they fall asleep, or any number of solitary activities.
You can take a philosophical route, but keep it strictly theoretical. Avoid long thinks about your life, the mistakes you’ve made, missed opportunities or fatal character flaws. Keep it light. If you feel yourself slipping, look at memes. Turn your brain off, sit in darkness, and laugh by the sickly glow of your cell phone display.
This will be a very natural transition if you are an “empath” like me. An empath, derived from the word “empathy”, is someone who feels the emotional energy of others very strongly. In short, it is someone who likes to make all their interpersonal connections ultimately about themselves.
So it is very possible to be an introvert and love people. As long as you love yourself more.
Tip Two: Pretend You are the Tragically Beautiful Heroine of a Gothic Romance
Yes, even if you are a cisgender, straight male. Especially if you are. Your name is Beatrice Von Schwartzvald and your aesthetic is crimson brocade, bone corsets and masquerade masks. You have developed complicated feelings for a sardonic lord, Dave. Your love is forbidden for reasons that aren’t particularly clear. Perhaps human resources would not be pleased because you are the governess. You dance at the ball anyway. There is hellebore poison and a book bound in flesh and rubies. This gothic castle is full of secret gardens, concealed passageways and even has an oubliette with dusty skeletons in it. You drag a comb through your undone rag curls. Is this all an arsenic-induced dream? To further immerse yourself in the fantasy, burn candles around the house. Every once in a while, fan yourself with an imaginary raven-feather fan and sigh “Oh, Dave!”
People will be sure to stand at least six feet from you, the CDC-recommended distance.
However, you were able to prove that the deed was a forgery before the witching hour. You and Dave are in love and disgustingly wealthy.
Tip Three: While the Cats are Away, the Mice will Mostly Stay Home and Read
Read everything between two covers. Cross genres. Perhaps a little self-help reading. Immerse yourself in imaginary worlds and develop a maladaptive daydreaming habit. What is reality? Oh no. Have I buried myself so deeply in imaginary scenarios that I am no longer able to function in the real world? I have so many fatal character flaws. Am I just averse to people because they force me to be vulnerable?
Tip Four: Quick, Look At Some Memes