Reality: I'm fat and need to drop some weight

Let me be upfront and honest with you and myself.

I'm fat.

Not heavyset.

Not husky like my boyhood blue jeans used to say on the tag.

No, I am F-A-T, fat.

I believe obese is the politically correct way to say "I'm fat" these days.

I'm not saying this because I'm proud. It takes a lot of courage to admit it, but I do have a problem and I hate it.

For too long I've joked about it -- saying that I was not really overweight -- I was just too short.

Well at my weight, I would have to actually be taller than 7 feet 10 inches to be anywhere close to my "ideal body" weight, according to one of those online body size calculators.

So if I was at my picture-perfect ideal weight I would be slam dunking the basketball in the NBA every night rather than pounding on this computer trying to earn a living as a journalistic scribe.

Sadly I see myself in the mirror and know that some fancy body weight calculator sees me for what I really am -- dangerously obese.

But gosh, I don't like being this way. I hate it as much as you and the rest of my family does -- maybe more.

According to government statistics, nearly two-thirds of Americans are overweight, so I've got a lot of company in the fat club.

If those figures are accurate -- and I believe they are -- then I really think the government should do something about this terrible affliction.

Heck, they've stuck their "big brother" nose into the rest of our business, why don't they just put a Surgeon General's warning label on every box, can, container, carton, package of the "unhealthy fat-packed stuff" that we are loading into our grocery carts every day.

But, as I remember the government did that several years ago to tobacco products and thousands of people are still dying every week, month and year from illnesses related to puffing or chewing.

Being fat is a personal problem. I know that.

Obesity is ruining my life, if you want to know. I mean, I could die. I could really die, and it scares the hell out of me.

I want to still be around when my four grand babies get married and bring offspring onto to the Schneider family tree. At this rate, they're probably going to talk about their beloved "Pops" as the nice newspaperman guy they remember and not someone who they can actually get to know.

Again that's scary.

So, it's time for some serious action. Time to get real serious about the four-letter word that fat people dread and avoid -- diet.

I've dieted before -- many times before, losing probably 150 pounds if you totaled all the pounds I've shed in the last 20 years.

Not much of it stayed off.

That's the problem and the dilemma I face.

I didn't actually have an intervention, but my family did give me enough hints and suggestions to convince this stubborn German-bred man to give the diet thing another whirl.

Now, I'm into my fourth week and third bout with the Weight Watchers program. I have had some relative success this time -- losing a total 12 pounds if you count the six-tenths of one pound loss I registered at my last weigh-in on Tuesday night.

I've lost 30 to 40 pounds before in past diets or weight-loss efforts, but as soon as I coasted off the diet and weaned myself from the healthy way of life, I would turn to my old ways and quickly pack on the pounds again.

It's a cycle ... a dangerous cycle that I want to conquer more than anything.

I've thought about doing the surgery thing -- where they staple your stomach to make it smaller so it holds less. I agree this is an excellent alternative that has proven results and is getting medically safer to do this days.

Personally, I've weighed the risks and the surgery route is not for me at this point. I got enough fight left in this fat carcass of mine to know and believe I can beat this belly stuffing addiction.

Anyway, the only surgical procedure that would likely be effective with me would be to staple my mouth shut so I couldn't stuff anything down my calorie hungry throat.

I tell you what it all boils down to.

My obesity is a direct result of the sheer volume of high-calorie, low-nutrition foodstuffs that have constantly been available for my consumption.

In simple easy to understand terms -- I eat too much.

For me to be successful it's going to be portion control, portion control, portion control.

That's tough when you love to eat.

I know the facts.

I get the picture.

I understand.

I need to lose weight.

Please pass me a stalk of celery rather than a donut.

Nick is the assistant editor for the Greene County Daily World. He can be reached by telephone at 847-4487 or 1-800-947-4487 or by e-mail at schneider.nick@gmail.com or nschneider@gcdailyworld.com .