Indiana has some great names for bands, cars and even barbecue restaurants

I have noted a brobdingnagian (really huge) slight and discrimination in America when it involves selecting names for groups of entertainers and the naming of vehicles. The state of Indiana has not been mined for its many colorful and descriptive names. And that is sad. I feel discriminated against and ignored.

Ergo, I am planning a telethon to raise awareness of the problem and to raise money for research on the topic. It will be broadcast 24 hours per day during the month of June over the Goosecreek Network, on the sunny banks of the Mighty Torrent Goosecreek that flows unimpeded through the metropolis of Calvertville, Ind. The money raised will be given to the Calvertville Conservatory Think Tank (CCTT) whose mission is to research why things are named as they are. I am the CEO, Director, President and Interim, temporary Secretary.

The initial research will be focused on why Kansas, Alabama, Florida/Georgia Line, Chicago, Boston, Atlanta, Texas, Tans-Siberian Railroad, Memphis, Miami Sound Machine, and Nickel Creek are currently being used by rock and roll or country music bands.

A preliminary search conducted by CCTT on its only computer, A TRS-80 Tandy Radio Shack computer, Circa 1975, could not produce a single group named Indiana. The Indiana University Marching Hundred does not count. Further research is needed. You may contribute to this worthy cause by sending contributions to the CEO CCTT and he will see that it allocated to the correct bank account. The accounting firm of Doolittle and Billem will represent CCTT in all matters financial.

"Durango" is a virile named used by Dodge for a truck. Durango is a mining town and area in the west known for water and mountain men. The town has a free flowing spring of testosterone. Only manly stuff is allowed there. I believe the Indiana town of "Pimento" would be equally as manly.

Another vehicle that has been an excellent product over the years is the sports, muscle car named the "Corvette Sting Ray." It is an exotic, powerful, majestic, dangerous sea creature of mystical proportions. I suggest that Chevy did not have to look any further than Indiana for an equally inspiring name. It is my contention that the community of Carp should have been chosen for this honor. "The Chevrolet Carp."

I have always thought that "Gnaw Bone" would be a wonderful name for a pork BBQ restaurant. Frankly, I believe the most obvious name for cars this time of year would be "Chuck Hole" or his marijuana smoking cousin "Pot Hole."

Chevrolet has a SUV named "Tahoe." Lake Tahoe is a magnificent fresh water lake on the border of Nevada and California in the Sierra Nevada. It is huge with hotels, water resort activities, vacation sites and views of majestic and inspiring mountains. I suggest that Indiana has a lake with equal charm, views of corn fields, woods and stone quarries -- Lake Lemon. Why not? The "Chevrolet Lemon." I like it.

Larry grew up north of Calvertville and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State University four times. Contact him at Goosecrick@aol.com or (317) 839-7656.