Which Wizard of Oz character Am I?

The Wizard of Oz is one of the most iconic movies of all times. An intrepid band of travelers face challenges to reach their destination.

I have rejected many activities that seemed threatening or I was a chicken. Which character describes me?

I turned green with envy recently while watching a couple swimming with whales. BW and I watched whales spouting in Hawaii a couple of years ago. These people cavorted in the water with a group of leviathans that with one swat of their tail flukes could send the Jolly Green Giant to kingdom come. Whales are bigger than outside yet they exhibit a gentleness that should be emulated by Chihuahua dogs. Imagine a whale with a Chihuahua attitude. I think I will stay in the boat.

I have never ridden a bicycle or run through Death Valley when the temperature is 120 degrees and the humidity level is -23. Why would a person subject himself to such physical and mental torture? Don’t those folks have vehicles to drive? Did Elwood Haynes, Henry Ford and Louis Chevrolet waste their time inventing cars?

My stomach squiggles as if a 1,000 eels were in there when I see people rock climbing with or without safety equipment. I am paralyzed. What mental state must one be in to perform such feats of daring.

In a recent article in National Geographic a 20-something Russian male was photographed as he climbed up the outside of a skyscraper and clambered among buildings under construction. He was shown walking on an I-beam and then as he held on with one hand suspended many floors above ground level.

Figure “8” stock car racing is dangerous. I wouldn’t do that if you gave me a car and money. Just a minute Caudale Podruncle, yes I would. There is an amount of money that would cause me to drive such a race and it is huge. Just offer it to me and I will rip it from your hand causing a paper cut all the way to bone. I wouldn’t last very long, however, and I would blame engine failure.

I would make a wonderful paratrooper until the moment came to jump. I would freeze in the door like a Popsicle; as a maple tree leaf fighting the leaf blower. The drill instructor would have to knock me unconscious and then kick my

“Dairy Air” out of the plane.

I have watched video of skiers who are helicoptered to the mountain summits that are thousands of feet tall then they ski down. Or try to. Sometimes they go straight down and often crash, tumble and flail breaking skis and multiple body parts. Why? Are their lives so devoid of meaning that they need the adrenalin rush to feel good about the day? I won’t even ski down Mt. Indiana which is a bit over 1,257 feet high and truly is in the middle of a corn field. That elevation is only about 400 feet higher than where my house sits.

It is decision time. Which Oz character am I?

Larry Vandeventer is a Calvertville Native. Reach me at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656. Read about me, my books, and my columns on my Website – Larryvandeventer.com. I am a graduate of Worthington High School and Indiana State University.