The only thing I ever invented was excuses

In 1905, eleven-year-old Frank Epperson combined soda water powder [precursor of Kool-Aid] and water, stirred it with a stick and left it on the porch. The next day he noted that it had frozen and the Popsicle was born.

In 1922 Ralph Samuelson of Minnesota was quite familiar with snow skiing. He began to ponder if people could ski on water. First, he tried regular snow skis and that did not work well then he tried barrel staves - nothing. So he made his own with leather straps to hold his feet, used window sash for the first rope and bingo, water skiing was invented.

Henry, age 12, developed the idea for the Tooth-O-Matic toothbrush. His idea was to make a handle for a toothbrush with space for a tube of toothpaste in it. Insert the paste, press a plunger at the bottom and paste comes out of the top onto the brush. Voila, Tooth-O-Matic.

Ameliya, age six, thought about eating especially when her food was too hot. She got the idea to attach a fork to a tube which has a small battery powered motor inside it much like those that power small personal fans with rubber blades people use in hot weather. Presto, when the user presses a button air, is forced out of the tube, onto the food and fork and voila the food is cooled. Well, some. This leaves me breathless.

At the age of 15 Louis Braille, yes that one, used a French Army idea on communication and invented the Braille System of reading with your fingers. His idea was to incorporate a system of six raised dots on the paper that can be read using the fingers.

Imagine a lampshade with vertical slats like a Venetian blind. Layla, age 11, did and she had the idea to mount those slats vertically and use a lever to turn them to adjust the amount of light needed. Why didn’t I think of that?

Here is a phenomenal idea by six-year-old Spencer. He is the youngest inductee in the National Gallery for America’s Young Inventors. He developed the idea for the KidCare Riding car. He thought about attaching the IV pole to the little car so kiddos could ride about while receiving the life-saving fluid. When I was six I didn’t even have a little car, didn’t know what a hospital was, was unaware that children got sick, didn’t even know that the wheel had been invented and IV meant four – I didn’t know that either.

Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine, suffered through many winters with cold ears. At the age of 15, he fashioned two hoops using wire and had his grandmother sew fur covers for them and the earmuff was invented.

I am so embarrassed. I am such a dweeb, a nothing, a wastrel, a useless piece of trash floating on the river of time. The only things I ever invented were excuses for why I could not invent anything. Loser!

Larry Vandeventer - I now have two websites. Larryvandeventer.com tells about my first six books and my newspaper columns. Rambler1956.com tells about my seventh book. Read and purchase.