What’s on my desk today?

A short time ago, a favorite reader of mine made some very nice (nicer than I deserve, certainly) and confidence-boosting comments about my blog. She said she always enjoys reading it, whether I’m writing about kitty adventures or just dump out my purse, photograph the contents and describe them to you.

That was such a fun and stupid column to write, it was called “What’s in my Purse?” and I have no idea what possessed me to do that. Must have been a slow news week.

As must this be, because this week, I treat you to “What’s on my desk today?”, kind of the same idea but on a larger, flatter and more cluttered scale.

My desk, from week to week, can fluctuate from looking like a fairly tidy (I know where everything is) work surface to looking like Times Square on New Year’s Day, before the street-sweepers arrive.

So, just like I did with my purse, I wasted no time jumping up on a chair to photograph it in the moment, capturing the exact moment I thought of the idea.

Okay, what’s on my desk today?

Here goes, clockwise from lower left: My trusty insulated cup. I have this one and a blue one, but I love this one the most because it used to have a decal on the front that said “Faith Over Fear~Jaden’s Journey”, and at the time that I bought it, I had never used a stainless-steel double-walled ultra-insulated cup of such superior quality before. This cup was a miracle to me. I love ice in my drink, plenty of ice, and I had filled this cup with ice and diet coke, set it on my nightstand and sipped from it as I read, drew or watched TV to fall asleep. The next morning, ALL OF THAT ICE AND DIET COKE WERE STILL THERE.

It was creepy and I instantly fell for this cup, hard.

I even remember messaging Jessica Lauderdale to blather about how great it was, I’m such a weirdo but I was genuinely thrilled. This cup goes virtually everywhere with me, and I will surely cry if I ever lose it.

The aluminum straw comes from a set of five I bought, no plastic straws for me, thanks.

Moving on...the letter is from Genentech USA, makers of Venclexta, the chemo pill I take every day. They’re informing me I am enrolled in the Oncology Co-pay Assistance Program, where I only have to pay a $5 co-pay for a week’s worth of the probably ridiculously expensive cancer drug. Pretty cool news, I must say. Behind the letter is the water bottle I am supposed to fill and drink down twice a day when I’m on Venclexta. It’s 56 ounces and I hate water until I get used to drinking stupid amounts (like 112 ounces) every day. Sigh. You can see how much I’ve consumed so far, and it’s after five p.m. Sigh...then we see my tape dispenser and stapler, pretty boring stuff. I between them is the Shopper cheat sheet I get every week that tells me what has to be on the Shopper front page, back page and lists the ads that are color ads. The front office staff write it up for me, and it’s a huge help in putting the Shopper together correctly.

Next, you see the obligatory pump dispenser of hand sanitizer and box of disposable masks.

We take COVID-19 pretty seriously here, and at least two of our staff have come down with it. We sanitize things like our phone receivers and light switches pretty regularly, and sometimes at night, I like to spray and wipe everything on everyone’s desk, like a little germ-killing elf. Die, Omicron, die Delta, die, die!!!!

Sitting in front of the hand sanitizer is a paperweight rock with a swear on it. Yes, I am responsible for painting it.

I only hang out with weird people, you see, and one night me and a couple of weird friends, Amy Workman and Chrystal Salesman, decided to have an impromptu “mean rock” painting craft session.

Mean rocks are much funnier to paint than nice rocks, although I haven’t the heart to leave them out for others to find. Because they’re mean. I personally would get a kick out of finding one but I am weird and others would probably just think it was a pretty mean thing to do.

Then we have assorted reminders, story notes, meeting agendas and my weekly list of what Friday’s paper will contain. I make this list because I literally forget what I wrote Monday when it’s Wednesday. I’m amazed, and you should be too, that I manage to get 10 or 12 pages put together before deadline every Thursday.

Madison has learned to paginate and she does well, putting the paper together every Monday for Tuesday’s print edition. She is good to have around and I’d be lost without her. The reason I have happy birthday clip art on the left monitor is for the birthday announcement on this page, and the card with the weiner dogs on it came from my good friend Linda Bedwell. The front says, “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.”

Maybe, if you say so, but I know I am the lucky one. Lucky she and others tolerate me like they do, lol.

According to the right monitor, I am currently listening to White Zombie, loud. Don’t judge me. Now I’m listening to Prince, so boop-boop-a-doo.

The coffee mugs contain paper clips, binder clips pens and assorted treats left by mysterious overnight visitors who should feel free to keep that kind of behavior going on. Just to the left of the blue mug is another mean rock. It’s upside down but if you 18 or older, please zoom in and read it. Now imagine finding it on the sidewalk, would you take it home? Ha ha ha ha I’m laughing at the mental picture.

The last thing I’ll describe is a poster I printed out of Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys with the quote, “Kitties aren’t supposed to smell like cigreets, they’re supposed to smell like kitties!”

You tell ‘em, Bubs.

Patti is Editor of the Greene County Daily World. She loves to laugh and also loves kitties. She’s kind of weird but has a heart of gold. If you would like to share a story or just make a friend, she can be reached at pattippdanner@gmail.com.