We're all afraid of something

Fear is a natural thing or is it? Some fears are innate while others are learned. I was pondering this while writing. We know toast falls jelly side down and cats always land on their feet. What would happen if you strapped a piece of jelly toast on a cat's back and dropped it?

Let's discuss realistic fears. I have heard that some very young children are afraid that while they are sleeping the stopper of their belly button will come out and they will deflate like a punctured beach ball.

I know when I was in elementary school I was afraid that Miss Dillon would ask me to spell Albuquerque, New Mexico. First day back at school a second grade teacher asked the children where they went over the summer. One little guy said, "We went to Muskingum, Michigan." Teacher: "That is a wonderful spelling word. How do you spell it?" The kid pondered the question and said, "Now I remember we went to Ohio."

A young maturing girl is afraid her classmates will notice she is wearing a bra. A few years later she is mortified that they will not notice she is wearing a bra.

A girl of 14 is fearful that she will fail algebra but a 20-year old girl is afraid she will fail the pregnancy test.

A 15 year old boy is afraid that he will never be free of zits and at 20 he is afraid he will fail the breathalyzer test.

A 38 year old man is afraid that the IRS will audit his 2010 tax form and ask questions about those deductions he made for charity called Uncle Bob's church of motorcycle riders. Further, he is afraid that the people next door will open a dog kennel and turn their yard into a wildlife sanctuary.

A 35 year old woman is afraid her son is growing a mustache and at 45 she is afraid she is growing a mustache. That same woman is afraid that the older pair of panty hose she is wearing will suddenly give way and fall to her ankles just as she walks into the office.

A 44 year old woman is afraid that the bright green plant her college daughter has in her window is actually marijuana.

A couple, married 15 years is fearful that their children will grow up and leave them and at 25 years they are afraid that their children may move back home.

A woman of 35 fears that the flap on her son's cap will not keep his ears warm. However, at 65 she is afraid that the flap on her arms will lose control and give her a shiner.

A man of 35 is afraid he is losing his hair and he will become bald but at 70 he is afraid that the hair growing out of the mole on his chin looks like a small rodent entering its lair. Plus, the hair in his nose, ears and eyebrows grows so fast he is afraid he will soon look like the Wolfman on steroids. We're all afraid of something.

Larry grew up North of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State U. -- four times. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.