Ring, Ring, Ring
"Hello, May I speak to Larry."
"Sir, I am calling as a follow-up about your recent inquiry to our company concerning energy products, stamina and male enhancement products."
"The products that our company produces that deal with energy, health and stamina and male enhancement issues."
"When did I contact you? Do you have a date to refresh my memory?"
"No sir, I don't that would be in the records division and I only deal with promotions."
"Well, that in unfortunate because I am not sure when I made that contact. But I am more concerned with the whales on our planet and the platypus ducks. They are a vital part of our ecosystem and they are endangered by over fishing and poaching. Don't you care about those issues; those members of our family of earth's creatures?"
"Yes, but not very much. I am only concerned at this time about our products that you contacted our company about."
"I am flummoxed about that. I don't remember contacting anyone about those concerns. It is so calamitous that you are faced with the embarrassing situation having to admit that you do not know."
"Would you like to hear more about our products?"
"I would but I have a need to share with you about the plight of the burros in Argentina. The ones they use down in the deep dark mines searching for copper and gold. They never see the light of day and they are not allowed to mate because that robs them of their energy and stamina. Do you have a product for them?"
"No. We only work with products for humans."
"I am sorry to hear that because burros are people too. Do you take this product?"
"No. I do not need testosterone. I am a woman and there is no need. But I am strong and healthy."
"Great. Then you can come over and help me scoop snow today and do my yard work next summer. Would you do that?"
"No, sir. I don't do yard work."
"Why not? It is an important part of living in the burbs as we do. Everyone in our neighborhood and in the town around us does ongoing yard work year round. Incidentally, where are you?"
"I'm calling from Maine."
"Maine! My wife and I are coming to Maine in about a month. We were there many years ago."
"Why would you come to Maine in the winter? Most people go south to Florida. Now back to the products we sell to increase your stamina, health and for male enhancements. What do you need to know about them?"
"I understand. In a minute. Do you care about Obamacare and its potential to bankrupt the national and state treasuries and the inevitable slippery slope down into socialism? Do you even think about that?"
And with that I hung up. I thought she would have hung up on me very early. And I am on the do not call list. I was winging and rambling and could not believe that a telemarketer had that much stamina.
Larry grew up north of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State University -- four times. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or (317) 839-7656.