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Friday, Oct. 31, 2014
Things I Have Lost Somewhere Somehow Along The Way
Posted Friday, October 31, at 12:33 PM
Today I am sitting in the Adirondack chair on my front porch drinking a glass of lemonade listening to Gladys Knight sing, "The Way We Were."That girl has pipes.This hasgiven me time toponder about life and the things I have lost somehow somewhere along the way.Memory is an entity composed of a hundred thousand mosaic tiles, a hundred thousand incidents and events yet they are gathered together in a single mass a single, unquestioned thing.It composes the stained glass window of my life.Memories rise and fall like the chest of the sleeping giant who is resting after chasing Jack down the beanstalk.. ...

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The Only Good Aspect of Flying: The Speed
Posted Tuesday, October 14, at 1:20 PM

Stewardesses Oops. It is politically incorrect to use that term today. One must use the term flight attendant because men are now allowed in the profession. Joan Rivers observed long ago that flight attendants are only waitresses servers who fly. They are different on each airline...

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Kevin Remembered
Posted Tuesday, September 9, at 3:09 PM

It was a brilliant Saturday afternoon in late spring. Kevin and a group of friends had just graduated from IU. Kevin received his MBA. He and his friends stood around talking and congratulating each other. Kev, let's go knock back a few and celebrate," they said...

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Events That Cause Great Satisfaction
Posted Friday, August 29, at 7:19 PM

There are events and activities in life that produce much joy and satisfaction. Sometimes the thing is small and insignificant but if the results were mountains they would be Alps. Here are some illustrations: Few things feel better than pulling a second quilt up under your chin on a cold winter night...

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Just A Piece of Metal -- Wrong!
Posted Monday, August 11, at 2:34 PM

As I keyboard this column I can see a ring on the third finger of my left hand. I have been wearing it for over eleven lustrums. It is a plain gold colored band that has been enlarged once to compensate for my fat fingers. It is a symbol. That ring is just a piece of metal, probably 99.9 percent brass or bronze, with a goldcoating on it. ...

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I Jist Ain't Never Heerd Of Sich A Thing
Posted Friday, July 18, at 9:17 AM

The current Time magazine has a cover picture of a radical looking house and the topic of the issue is "The Smarter Home" describing the house of the future with the technology to make it function efficiently. My mind boarded the Hooterville Train to nostalgia and visited Stella, who was 83 in the late 60s. Newfangled caused her to blurt, "I jist ain't never heerd of sich a thing."...

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Laughing Is Good For You
Posted Tuesday, July 8, at 10:56 PM

Here are some jokes and anecdotes that I guarantee will cause you to split your sides laughing, wet your pants, or bust a gut. Guaranteed. If they don't, send them back to me and I will laugh for you. Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica. "Grampa, do you mind if I play this in here?"...

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Rambler Alumni 2014
Posted Tuesday, June 24, at 11:22 PM

We violated a life tenet of long standing Saturday. It states, "Do not attend school reunions because there will be some old people there who claim to be your classmates." It is true. But we did and it was a pleasant evening. I was surprised at how some people had grown so old they did not even recognize me...

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What's For Lunch
Posted Wednesday, June 4, at 8:53 AM

Restaurateurs are always looking for the next menu item that will sell like hot cakes. That is why burger places now sell chicken, fish and tacos. Since cavemen humans have attempted to eat the entire animal even to cracking the bones and sucking out the marrow then using the bones for tools...

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Indiana has some great names for bands, cars and even barbecue restaurants
Posted Tuesday, May 20, at 2:23 PM

I have noted a brobdingnagian (really huge) slight and discrimination in America when it involves selecting names for groups of entertainers and the naming of vehicles. The state of Indiana has not been mined for its many colorful and descriptive names. And that is sad. I feel discriminated against and ignored...

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Night Classes and Weekend Seminars for Women
Posted Monday, May 12, at 7:46 PM

The Cow Chip Tossing, Burp your name seminar and Mushroom Hunting Academy of Tulip, Indiana, is enrolling female students in classes for summer and fall: "Who died and put you in charge of driving?" A debate will be held on teaching real women to keep their mouths shut when riding as a passenger of a car in the front or back seat...

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Someone stole BW's wallet!
Posted Friday, May 2, at 9:05 PM

"Hello." A familiar voice came racing through the phone exclaiming, "I need you to look for my billfold." "You did look in your purse ten times? Have you looked in all of your pockets and in your car?" "Yes." I looked in all of the obvious house places. ...

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Bring The Crosscut Saw, I Have Found a Biggun'
Posted Friday, April 25, at 9:10 PM

I am reprising a column I wrote a few years ago on the coming of spring. It seems that by the end of February my coat weighs at least 75 pounds and time passes slower than a kidney stone. The earth is brown and lifeless. I know spring is finally on the way when I have one of those annual experiences that sink deeply into our primordial beings. ...

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The best spring cleaning ever
Posted Monday, April 21, at 9:42 PM

The weather today is cold, rainy and raw. That is spring; vicissitudinous. The winds of too many springs have blownthrough my long underwear. Yesterday it was warm and glorious. Gentle zephyrs blew and it was gloriously balmy; enchanting. I threw caution to the wind and propelled myself with reckless abandon because "Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. ...

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Gardens in Time
Posted Monday, March 3, at 10:11 PM

Many gardens have felt the tread of my feet in days gone by from vegetable gardens by the farm house to mansions. The farm house is long gone leaving only the stone block front door step; a door that provided entrance to warmth in the winter, respite from the rain, a warm welcome by those living within...

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If you would like to make a call...
Posted Thursday, February 20, at 5:20 PM

Good Morning. You have reached the automated voice message system of If, Ands or Butts Manufacturing. Your call is very important to us. Please listen to the messages and select the one that most clearly states the reason for your call so we can direct your call to the appropriate department:...

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Why does Donald Duck go around half naked?
Posted Tuesday, January 14, at 9:40 PM

Steve of Daily Groaner primed my pump with the first five items then I filled the bucket: Why is there a shortstop between second and third base and not between first and second? Why are sleeveless T-shirts still referred to as T-shirts? Why don't people smoke cigarettes with their nostrils rather than their mouths? Why does Winnie the Pooh wear a shirt and he doesn't wear any pants? Why isn't a moon roof in the shape of a "dairy air?" What about Donald Duck? He only wears a bolero jacket and a hat. ...

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Musings of Christmas 2013
Posted Monday, December 23, at 6:41 PM

Christmas comes at us with the speed of a jet bomber. We know it is coming. It is scheduled and we can hear it approaching from a great distance but we're not ready. We prepare for its arrival as we furiously make plans, embroil ourselves in a fury of activity to withstand the onslaught. "It will be here before we know it and before we are ready," is our mantra. We know it but we are powerless to stop it, slow it or avoid it...

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Finding humor in unsuspecting places
Posted Monday, December 9, at 2:47 PM

I read signs and find the humor in them. Some are not meant to be read literally. Some make inferences and others just plain out and out lie. Since I am an American I understand most idioms with the nuances and inferences. I am a lexicographer and that causes me to read and chuckle and sometimes guffaw...

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The Oracle has spoke
Posted Monday, November 18, at 2:00 PM

The Oracle of Dead Horse Creek lives at the apex of Mt. Indiana. People seek his counsel and long for a private audience to marinate in his wisdom and knowledge. Pilgrims make pilgrimages to his location annually to find the answers to life's greatest mysteries...

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My World
By Larry Vandeventer
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Hot topics
Things I Have Lost Somewhere Somehow Along The Way
(0 ~ 11:33 AM, Oct 31)

The Only Good Aspect of Flying: The Speed
(0 ~ 12:20 PM, Oct 14)

Kevin Remembered
(0 ~ 2:09 PM, Sep 9)

Events That Cause Great Satisfaction
(1 ~ 8:17 AM, Sep 5)

Just A Piece of Metal -- Wrong!
(0 ~ 1:34 PM, Aug 11)