I read the following article on the Internet that lists things you should never say at work if you wish to have a positive environment.
"Who are you voting for?" The writer thinks that political issues are divisive and hinder collaborative efforts. Some may feel bullied. Is everything bullying now?
"I'm soooooo tired." That doesn't help anyone. We are all tired.
"I have to tell you something about the boss, but don't tell anyone, OK?" Now there is a minefield you should avoid. The person you are talking to may be a snitch, a brown nose or a conduit to the boss's ear.
"You always" or "you never." This is melodramatic and probably inaccurate and judgmental. Few people "always" or "never do" something
"That's not my job; it is not in my contract." You will be seen as contrary and it will hurt your professional image.
"Well actually," is obnoxious. Leave it off when you respond or give directions.
"I hate this stupid job." Venting in the work place is not constructive
The article caused me to formulate some thoughts about the situation after 30 years of working in offices.
Ellen, did you have your nose fixed or has it always resembled a summer squash? If I were you I would sue the plastic surgeon you paid to fix the problem. It could not have been worse before the surgery.
Elzy, your breath smells as if you have been eating road kill armadillo found on a Texas road in July. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?
Agnes, was that perfume a gift or did you steal it from that bag lady who lives under the bridge by the railroad tracks? What is the name of it, Eau de Giraffe?
Annie, are those your real legs or are you riding on a bowlegged chicken? I recommend that you stay away from any KFC establishment. They might throw a net over you.
Fred, I used to have a suit like that until my dad got steady work and then I was able to have nicer clothes. Did you get that thing at Goodwill or from some place that sells clothes by the pound?
Alan, were you smoking some of that "wacky tobacky" when you did this report? I have read more coherent statements from dyslexic, schizophrenic homeless men on acid than this piece of trash. Gather around everybody; let me read some of this gibberish.
Whatever. This is dismissive and interpreted by many to be a euphemism for the "F" word followed by you.
Betty, do you really think that wart on you upper lip is a beauty mark? It has more hairs growing out of it than Big Foot has on his tookas. Rapunzel would envy that hair. People laugh about its ugliness.
Clair, do you realize that that outfit makes your butt look huge? You might as well have signs on your butt labelling one cheek Rhode Island and the other one Delaware. There are some women who may find that statement to be insensitive.
My website Larryvandeventer.com - Read about me, my books, and my columns. Larry Vandeventer grew up North of Calvertville on a farm and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State U. He can be reached at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-839-7656.