In my former life during the BRE [Before Retirement Era], I worked in personnel by writing policy, hiring and firing and supervising literally hundreds of employees. Each required a job description and title to determine what each employee was supposed to be doing and so supervisors could determine if they were doing what they were supposed to do. Today, in our house we do things in a similar manner.
I am the official TARMCATO in our house. I do have an assistant who aids and abets my work. Every Friday I gather excess materials and give them to other people. Two trucks come by our house and take the materials. Therefore I am the TARMCATO – Trash and Recycle Materials Collector and Taker Outer.
We have a highly qualified TPSO in our house. No one would ever engage me to be a mason, but I can lay blocks and bricks to suit my own purposes. When I am finished one would never say that the job was perfect or nearly perfect, but the job is done. When we lived on Sunrise Drive in Plainfield, IN, we had a patio between the house and the unattached garage. I decided that the opening was too wide between the two so in my feeble brain I decided to lay up a brick wall for privacy. Ergo I was the bricklayer and BW was the TPSO. She followed my work by making the joints look good. Ever since she has been the TPSO - Tuck Pointer and Smoother Outer.
Periodically BW will call out, “I need a tall person.” I am slow but I am not stopped so since we are the only two persons who live in this house it doesn’t take me long to deduce that she is talking about me. So I plod toward her voice and ask, “What do you need?” “I need one of those serving dishes up there for the party.” “Which one?” She already has opened the cabinet and she points up to the top shelf that is about eighteen inches or so below the ceiling. So I point to each dish there and ask, “This one?” “No” “This one?” Then I touch the one she wants.
The record must show that BW is vertically challenged, shorter than Pres. Trump’s attention span, short in the coupling pole, shorter than the second chapter of the book of Obediah in the Old Testament. When we married I had aspirations that she was not finished growing. Wrong! So I chide her a bit and say, “Let me show you how to do this and next time you can get the dish yourself. You engage your biceps and triceps muscles on your arm propelling your hand up to the dish, grasp it with your fingers and bring it down to the counter. See? Simple!” “Nobody likes a wise guy even you.” In our house I am the RUGD - Reacher upper and getter downer.
Everything is done by the book.
[Larry Vandeventer. Go to my website – Larryvandeventer.com – and purchase my books. I grew up North of Calvertville and graduated from Worthington High School and Indiana State. Contact me at Goosecrick@aol.com or 317-796-0784]